I (26F) babysat my nephews recently, (12M and 6M) for my sister who was going to get them some presents. Now when she had left she said she was going to a store and would be back, I knew she was going to the next town over and would be about 3-4 hours. I was fine with that however after the 5 hour mark I called her and she wasn’t even on her way back. She finally got home but I told her no more it was too long and she yelled and said she couldn’t control the traffic. AITA for not babysitting after she did this? My family thinks I should just give her another chance.
Edit: so the boys are on the spectrum and the youngest is hard to handle sometimes, I love them I do but it was a long 10 hours and I didn’t appreciate that she never called to check in or talk about when she was coming home I had to call her and ask. Maybe I was harsh when I said I was never going to watch them, maybe I will but it won’t be anytime soon
INFO – Is this a repeat thing? Is her being late or overextending your babysitting time a regular occurrence?
She’s usually never this late, once she did leave them with me for 12 hours when it was supposed to be 6 but it was for a job so I let it slide. I usually babysit since I’m in school and don’t have a job I can and usually I like hanging out with my nephews but this time I hated it
Is there a history of her being late? If it is just one time I think you are a little harsh, but if this is an annoying pattern of behaviour then youre well within your rights to decline.
Usually she’s like a half hour late which I can forgive, she usually gets me something to eat or something to drink. Only once was she really late but this time it was more hectic and just idk I was so annoyed
NTA
Let your family watch them.
She may have went somewhere else instead of or besides the store. She may have been planning on going out with friends & leaving them with you all night if you didn’t call?
INFO: Is it possible that the traffic was truly that bad? Did she actually go shopping, or was she doing something else? Has this sort of thing happened before? How old is your sister?
She’s 35 she said she was going to go to one store but she said she ended up going to multiple stores and eating, she has done this before once where she was gone for 12 hours
nta but learn from ur mistakes. Maybe ur family needs to step up and help out. Let them babysit the kids for 5 plus hrs.
Does your family labor under the mistaken belief that you recently changed your name to “Doormat”?
Pretty sure that when someone hasn’t even even left to return home an hour after they said they’d already be there, it’s not about traffic. It’s about being inconsiderate. And the yelling at the person she took advantage of (you) is the glitter on your sister’s shiny invitation to find a new babysitter.
Let your family give her another chance and babysit all they like. You’re out, at least until a reasonable period of time has passed and you’ve received an apology both for the lateness and the attitude.
If you do give her another chance, let her know that you have an imaginary place you must be at a specific time. If she makes you late for you imaginary appointment, that’s her last shot.
NTA
Sometimes things happen that are outside of our control, like a car accident that causes a big delay. If she was delayed because if something like that and she had called you to let you know what was happening, then I’d say you were an AH and being unreasonable.
But she asked you to look after them for 3 hours and somehow that turned into 10 – TEN! – with no heads up about what was happening. No care or consideration for if you were worried about her, or if you had other plans that day etc. She majorly took advantage to do who knows what – she really shopped for presents for 10 hours? Sure. I would also refuse in the future unless it was a bona fide emergency, like she’s in the hospital sort of thing. She’s clearly a give an inch, they’ll take a mile type of selfish person. NTA
Usually she’s kinda good at the time like most of the times she only 20 minutes late, and ik it can be a handful but I would’ve liked a heads up, she’s done this once before where she was gone for 12 hours but after hour 8 I had a huge headache so I told her I was done for the time being
I’m confused. In your own description you say you assumed shed be gone 3 to 4 hrs bc she was going to the next town over to shop not that she said how long she’d actually be gone. That you called at hr 5 and asked where she was and she said she was still shopping and she eventually came back. It sounds like you didn’t have a discussion on when you expected her to be back and mom thought she had time to get some errands done and eat a meal without being hovered over. In your comments you said she came back after 10hrs? When you called at hr did you not set expectations of when you needed her back by?
Honestly your 3 to 4 hrs assumption was never realistic in the first place. Let’s says a hr there and an hr back (holiday traffic) so that 2 hrs. 15ish min to find a parking space (thats being nice). If we went by your 3 hrs that would leave sister 45 min to get in the store, rush to find what she needed (we all know during the holidays its a shitshow), that item(s) is in stock and you dont need help, and check out (where you know there is a line). If it weren’t the holidays I would say 3 or 4 hrs was reasonable if she were to rush but it sounds like there was zero communication. You keep saying shes done this once before and based on your comments it sounds like there was zero communication in that as well.
NTA. She is taking advantage of you. If she was paying a sitter I bet she would be on time or at least called to say she was going to be late.
You said that she has done this before. She left you with her kids for 12 hours. This is wild and I would never keep her kids again.
She has no respect for you.
NTA
Babysitters are a precious resource and you don’t fuck them.
If you’re late coming home, you beg forgiveness. You text. People have their own lives. You could have had plans.
You certainly don’t yell at your babysitter after you come home late.
10 hours is …. a long damn time with ANY kids. That’s not “I’m going to get some presents at a store.” time.