Me(F19) and my family don’t really so anything for thanksgiving but its sort of still implied that we spend the day together. It is hard to do things together because im a college student and I also work on the weekends. Recently me and cousins planned a halloween with our family and it was a success. In that same day we decided we might do something for thanksgiving weekend. My cousin(f19) thought that we were going to go out to a bar or something and I thought we just going to get drinks and stay home. That plan died down really quicky because there were a lot of factors that never happened. A few days ago I asked my cousin about her dads Netflix password. We kinda went back and forth she was asking for something and it was just banter. Thats normally how our relationship is because we act a lot like siblings and we are super close. Then she said that id give the password if we hang out for thanksgiving. I said I wouldn’t be able to because I have been eating out a lot for some time i wanted a break. I also said that I need to stay with my mom to help for dinner even if we aren’t making something fancy. I basically said no to thanksgiving and I offered to go out after our finals because we are both college students and work part time jobs. She got angry at that and said that im mean and I never want to go out with her which is so far from the truth. She said im genuinely mean and to that I did take offense. However, I still apologized and offered to go out on monday or any other day I just would have to skip a class or whatever. To that she said she was busy all week and I didnt press further.
The next day I texted her back again and asked if she would be down to plan something like we did for halloween. She said no and how she doesn’t want to do shit if i’m in the same place as her. I said I don’t know what she wants me to do because i tried to apologize and plan christmas. She even said I deserve to die. Which I know she didnt mean because like i said we have a very sibling like relationship, however i have never told anyone they deserve to die. Im very understand when people cant make it to plans because its not like we planned anything and I understand we all have different priorities, currently mine were just relaxing and spending it with my siblings and family (which I don’t get to do alot because im always busy in my own activities). I can understand it might seem like im not spending time with her because we have talked about making plans that havent really made it out of the groupchat, however this has never happened.
Was i really wrong about make excuses about not hanging out even if I thought they were good reasons. I don’t hate her, I still love her and we even have a matching tattoo, we are super close and I know we can get bitter sometimes but I feel like this crossed a line.
I didnt even end up using the password and made my own account. 🙂
NTA… u gave a very reasonable explanation and even offered an alternative plan after finals, so her anger seems really out of place here.
Sorry but this relationship sounds super toxic and I’m not sure what we’re judging here.
NTA. Your cousin is super abusive and manipulative.
Stay away from her for your own mental health.
1. If you can’t handle regular conversations, you shouldn’t be at bars drinking (illegally). 2. You tried to backtrack over a Netflix code? You’re telling her you have time for Netflix, but not a get together. 3. If you are so close why are you only seeing each other on holidays? 4. You will skip school to spend time with her? I’m confused about priorities. 5. No one should ever tell you they want you to die. That is awful. 5. Do you think this is a healthy relationship?
ESH. Take a step back. Look at your life and your choices. Evaluate your decisions and where your allegiance and standards are.
2 is making me laugh. grow up
To be fair, I’m told stranger things broke the flix! Lololol