I (16F) have gained a couple pounds this year. My mom has suggested that maybe I try to eat a little healthier and join a gym. I told her no, that I’m happy with my current lifestyle. She got upset and told me that I need to figure it out before college and the freshman 15. She kept bugging me about it and I just kept saying no. My boyfriend told me to maybe just try what she wants me to do for a little bit, but I’m happy the way I am. AITA because it makes my mom upset that I don’t care?
ETA: don’t have a doctor so no doctor has said anything 🤷♀️
current 5’5, 145
started at 127
Do you feel unhealthy? That’s a big part of it. As a larger dude myself, I am trying to loose some weight. My parents weren’t in me too much. But maybe she sees something and is trying to help you. Sometimes we do not always see the things we need.
Info: is this a cosmetic concern or are you at a weight that’s actually unhealthy?
Hard to give substantial advice without knowing the numbers. I’m inclined to say NTA, as you seem happy as you are (and that’s the best you can be).
NTA for not caring about your mum’s opinion about your size.
insane that all the responses on the thread so far are from people suggesting that you should see a doctor or that perhaps you should maybe lose a little weight. Your weight is noone else’s business. This policing of young women’s weight has to stop.
I think it’s more like people are encouraging moderate exercise and balanced eating.
Also parents are responsible for their children’s health. Everyone should try and see the doctor once a year.
NTA.
Assuming when you say “a couple pounds” you don’t mean 20, your mom is being overbearing. My wife still has trauma from her mother always criticizing her weight, rationing food, etc. She’s gained and lost the same 30 pounds over and over and over, and ‘yo-yo dieting’ leads to other health problems.
NTA but it’s a lot easier to develop and maintain healthy eating and exercise habits when you’re younger.
A couple pounds here and there isn’t bad and isn’t something you should be stressing about but a couple pounds here and there over several years and suddenly you’re morbidly obese and have a plethora of health issues, and because you never developed healthy eating and exercise habits it’ll be a lot harder to change.
I recommend visiting a primary care physician at least once yearly for a physical and getting their opinion on your health.
Agree. Plus developing a healthy diet early in life regardless of weight helps to prevent some autoimmune conditions and cancers. The developing research has linked gut biomes to a lot of health outcomes.
A balanced diet (and there are a ton of ways to go about it) really can be life changing.
Want to emphasize that this is not me trying to be a food morality police. We all have days where we’re lazy or sick or celebrating etc
What exactly is “a couple pounds” in your mind? I can’t really give a judgment without that info.
Interestingly you say you gained “a couple of pounds” but leave off how many couple is, and your starting weight.
Your mom might have genuine concerns about your weight and would be absolutely right in encouraging you to have a healthy lifestyle.
But gaining 2 pounds while still being a healthy weight according to a doctor. Is nothing to worry about and she might need to back down.
Being a healthy weight at your age really is important for development, long term health and mental welfare.
NAH without context of weight. I think what she is trying to articulate is it will be even harder to establish good habits when temptation increases and structure is removed. A lot of college students no longer have sports several days a week and are not accustomed to the unlimited buffet of college food. It’s a very slippery slope and good habits don’t mean shame for being larger.
My guess is if she feels like you are already struggling to make those choices now, it will be much harder away from the home.
My other guess is you are also downplaying how many lbs it is because most people cannot even visually tell a 5-7 lbs difference. I’m also guessing you are not in sports or she wouldn’t suggest a gym.
It’s a pretty big red flag that you don’t have a regular doctor for checkups. You should remedy that. And if your mom cared so much she would make sure you get regular checkups. Talk to her about this.
Parents are damned if they do, or damed if they don’t.
Parents let you eat whatever you want & say nothing about your lifestyle, people call them negligent & blame them for their obese children.
When Parents do care & try to make you eat healthier & be active, they’re labeled as toxic.