I (17M) have been fighting with my mom (54F) over her losing my face cream. I know this is vague so let me give some much needed background information.
Before christmas time my mother invited our family friends over to stay at our house to spend the holidays with us. I was very excited because I hadn’t seen them in so long and wanted to catch up. My mom usually cleans the whole house when company comes over, and as my bathroom is technically supposed to be the main bathroom she cleaned that too. When she cleans the bathroom she usually moves all my stuff under the counter and then I start to take it back out after they leave.
Fast forward to after christmas I’m looking in the bathroom and I can’t find it. I checked under the sink and in the closet and I decide to ask my mom because she was the last one who touched it. She comes in, can’t immediately find it, and starts to get a little mad at me. This may be the part where I was jerky, I kept asking her to try to remember where she put it or if there was anyplace else she could have put it and she exploded on me. My mom started pulling everything out from under the sink and even pulls out part of the closet. There’s a massive pile on the floor of random stuff, and by this point she’s screaming at me and accusing me of taking it out of the house to my dads or having it in my room when we both know she was the last person to touch it.
I end up calling my dad to pick me up and I stay at his house for a few days including New Years. My dad is completely on my side but says he won’t get involved because he doesn’t want to deal with my mom. My mom called me and tried to coax me into cleaning it with fun days out and gifts and when I say no, because she made the mess, she starts yelling at me again.
I’m back at her house now, and we’re back to normal for the most part, except the giant mess on the bathroom floor. My dad refuses to get involved and I don’t really have any friends I can trust with this so I thought reddit might set me straight. AITA for not cleaning it up?
Quick edit : I always help clean up with other things around the house, my mother usually does the bathroom while I do my room, the guest room, and help her with the kitchen and living room. Originally she never asked for my help with the bathroom, though I do understand how I can jump in and help her with it in the future.
ESH your mother’s response was disproportionate, but dude, you’re 17, why is mummy cleaning your bathroom? Even if she wants to clean herself for guests to make sure it’s done correctly, at your age it’s not unreasonable that you should be helping and at the very least responsible for getting your own items out of the way.
Why didn’t you just look for it yourself. Clean the bathroom yourself. Sheesh.
YTA you should be cleaning your own bathroom.
YTA
You could have handled this better.
YTA.. You should clean your bathroom.. See what happens when you don’t clean your shit.. I had this problem with my son and daughter and they TRIED doing what you did to your mother.. if they can’t find something (I put in 1 place) to bad.. I always tell them — stop looking for it — just wait and then you’ll find it..
Hi, if you read my edit you can see I help my mother with other things. I haven’t found my cream that I paid for with my own money which is one of the reasons I’m very discouraged. I don’t think all problems need to be solved with screaming and yelling which is why I left. Thanks for your insight.
Give it time and look. She wouldn’t throw it out, so it’s somewhere.
YTA – Clean your bathroom and put your stuff away before going to your dad’s house. Every time. That solves all the problems.
ESH your mom was not kind. And if you don’t want your stuff touched or moved, you need to clean the bathroom by yourself
INFO: are you saying that you still haven’t put away the stuff she pulled out in order to thoroughly look for your face cream for you and it’s still all on the floor?
YTA- clean your bathroom and put your shit away and hug your mom. Time to grow up.
ESH. Time to put on your big boy pants and clean your own room.
Your moms reaction seems wild, if accurate. And your dad siding with you, is 100% getting involved in a bad way.
If it wasn’t put under the sink, she probably *wasn’t* the last person to touch it. What would make her put everything under the sink except for one item? It doesn’t make sense. If you know that your mom does this to clean for guests, you’re old enough to take responsibility for your own stuff. This is so frustrating to read because I understand your mom’s frustration as well. She also just cleaned and hosted a huge event and now has you piling on her too.