I’m a freshman in college and me and my roommate have been cool since freshman year. We’re not like best friends but we hang out and help each other with school sometimes.
This semester he’s been doing really bad in one of his classes that he needs for his scholarship. I tried helping him study before but he kinda just procrastinates and doesn’t really lock in.
Right before a big midterm he asked if I could help him during the test. I thought he meant like last minute review but he literally meant he wanted to look at my answers. He said if he fails he might lose his scholarship and have to drop out.
I told him no because I’m not trying to get in trouble or risk my grade too. He kept saying stuff like real friends help each other and that I was his only chance but I still didn’t do it.
During the test he kept trying to look and I covered my paper. After he was mad and said I didn’t have his back. Now things are awkward and he barely talks to me.
Some friends say I should’ve just helped a little since it was a big deal for him. Others say I did the right thing.
I feel kinda bad but also feel like it wasn’t my problem.
AITA?
NTA, his scholarship isn’t worth your academic expulsion.
NTA. If you got caught helping him, it would’ve been serious trouble for both of you. It’s his fault for not studying and procrastinating when this is a “need to pass” for him, not your fault.
I guess NTA. Don’t let people cheat off you.
Seems to not add up to me. He doesn’t have financial aid, but he has only a “scholarship,” that is based on one specific class? His other classes are fine, but only this one class is a problem. Are there assigned seats? How is it you couldn’t sit farther away and had to cover your paper? He’s sitting next to you and you’re able to take the test while covering your entire paper? The test is presumably all multiple choice or basic math, so he can just easily copy all the answers?
NTA
But you know that right? Because you might be a freshman, but you are a legal adult and you know right from wrong? If you honestly aren’t sure, I am not going to be the one to educate you.
NTA
There were multiple paths to him passing:
1. Him ‘locking in’ when you tried to help home study
2. Him not procrastinating.
3. Him going to the TA.
4. Him finding a tutor or a study group.
5. Him finding someone willing to let him cheat off of (not necessarily you)
By my count, he had at least 4 good options that he could even combine- none of which involved him cheating. He had at least 5 options that did not depend upon expecting you to aid and abet him in cheating.
If he really cared about keeping that scholarship, he would have taken one or more of those options well before deciding to gamble it all on you lacking academic integrity (or him making you believe you owed it to him to sacrifice your integrity and risk your education for him).
“He kept saying stuff like real friends help each other”
Real friends wouldn’t ask you to go against your morals. Real friends would be the kick-in-the-butt to reinforce your morals if you were ever weakening.
Also, I don’t believe for a second that a “friend” that would ask you to compromise your morality would keep his mouth shut on who “helped” him if he got into trouble.
Of course you’re NTA. Do you even have to ask?
*He said if he fails he might lose his scholarship and have to drop out.*
If he has a good reason why he’s struggling in this class, he should talk to an academic advisor and apply for special consideration.
But if he fails because he is lazy and has been procrastinating, he deserves to lose his scholarship. If he cheats, he deserves to lose his scholarship.
Losing his scholarship is not something you have to try and save him from. It’s not your problem.
*He kept saying stuff like real friends help each other*
Real friends don’t help each other CHEAT!
*Some friends say I should’ve just helped a little*
Some friends can kick rocks.
*since it was a big deal for him.*
It’s a big deal for you too. You could get kicked out of YOUR course if you help him cheat.
Obviously you’re NTA and he’s not actually a friend.
He is manipulative and later punative when he doesn’t get his way.
The friends who are saying you were in the wrong for not helping him are toxic. You are being gaslighted out of common sense and integrity.
You are not indebted to *anyone* to violate your ethics/morals and risk your academic standing and/or career. But especially not for someone you’ve essentially known for less than two semesters. Come on now.