For context, I (17m) have been translating for my mum (53f) basically since I’ve been born, because my mum moved to the UK from a Spanish-speaking country. She’s been here since the 90s and doesn’t know a word of English somehow.
And from as young as I can remember, I’ve had to do all the translating. Since I was really young, I’ve had to deal with adult problems, like having to call collection agencies and explain why my mum couldn’t pay, having to book doctors’ appointments, talking to the police, etc. It gets to a point where it annoys me so much that I have to deal with this, because my mum was too lazy to learn English. I’m like, “Why me? Why do I have to do this?”
And when I complain, my mum calls me “selfish”, “ungrateful”, and says things like “I can’t count on you for anything” (even though I’ve helped her translate thousands of times before). I think the part that gets to me the most is that she makes no effort to try and learn English or try talking to people by herself. I find it crazy how she’s been living in the UK much longer than in her home country and still doesn’t know English.
The reason I’m making this post is because yesterday my mum had to make a call with her phone courier, and she shoved the phone in my face without any context. I had to figure out what she wanted me to say while she was being rude to me because I didn’t know what she wanted me to do. I did it begrudgingly, but now we have to call back again, and I’m refusing because I’m tired of having to translate. She’s calling me ungrateful, selfish, etc.
TL;DR: AITA for not wanting to translate for my mum who can’t speak English
NTA; 30 years of living in a country where a language other than your native language is spoken and used is enough time in which to have learned the rudimentary basics of communication in that other country.
NTA, living somewhere for 30 years and not picking up any of the local language is literally impossible unless you specifically go out of your way to avoid all instances of exposure, so your mother’s situation is something she has willfully brought on herself. You’re not responsible for her choices. Surely she doesn’t expect you to live in her house and interpret for her till the day she dies?
Honestly I don’t know what she’s gonna do when I move, I actually have mentioned it before but she always brushes it off jokingly by saying something like I’ll always be with you or I’ll always follow you jokingly
But I plan too move out later this year so idk what her plan is, I’m hoping it will force her too try b more independent
They have ESOL courses for free in the UK so maybe say you wanna go somewhere, enrol her on one and leave her there say if she doesn’t do it you’ll never help again. NTA
You’re not responsible for your moms laziness. NTA.
Download Duolingo on her phone and move on.
NTA
What does she do with her time? She obviously can’t work without knowing English.
I’m positive she can understand and speak more than she lets on. She’s just lazy as sin. You can not live in a country for 30 years and not pick up the language. I went to Spain for 10 days and came back with some phrases and words to get around and along with folks. NTA. Tell her they have great deals on Babbel these days. Show her how to use google translate and wave goodbye.
NTA. She could have learnt English when you were learning it at school, using the same reading scheme you were given. Or she could have learned it from watching the TV programmes you watched. You might go away to college in a year or two so she needs to start now.
I don’t make much of an effort to learn welsh, but after a decade here, I know some key words and phrases, sounds like shes either pretending not to know any for some reason or is actively refusing to try.
Either way, you’re a person, not a tool. NTA
Google translate app. Teach your mom to use a translation app and start saving money/planning escape because you need to move out as soon as you can. She stole your childhood. She will steal your future with her chosen dependence.
NTA: i work retail and have had migrants that have freshly arrived, come in to do their doordash etc and just within a few weeks and months they’ve vastly learned so much and use me as a tool to do help. The also rely on google translate and are very quick with it. It’s about wanting it instead of expecting the world to form around them. I love my migrant homies, we learn so much from each other.
NTA
I wrote a thesis about exactly this issue and it is terrible for a childs development to be put in this position.
If you want me to elaborate more, let me know what questions you have
NTA. It is your mother who is selfish. Stop being her interpreter for everything. She has had adequate tine to learn basic English. Let her rant and throw toddler tantrums but don’t translate for her or undertake tasks she should be able to do herself.