Recently, I (38F) switched my daughter to a new daycare. The entry system is similar at both – you enter a code and password into a keypad and it unlocks the door. Only people who are authorized to pick up a child are given the code, and those people have their ID’s checked and on file with the daycare.
At the old daycare, the rule was that you are not to hold the door for anyone. Every entrant must use the code to open the door. They didn’t explicitly tell me that this was the rule at the new daycare, but I figured it was the case, and it’s certainly a policy I appreciate.
The other day was one of my first times at the new daycare. As I entered, an older woman (late 60s) was standing behind me. I coded in and she tried to follow me. I sort of blocked the door with my body and said, "I’m sorry, I think you have to use the entry pad." She said, "Oh, I’m just somebody’s grandma!" I said, "Okay, but I still don’t think I’m allowed to let you in. There’s a button right there where you can ask the front desk person to let you in." She huffed and said, "Are you really not going to let me in?" I said, "Sorry. I’ll let someone inside know you’re waiting." And I pulled the door closed behind me and alerted a staff member that someone was waiting.
Maybe 10 seconds later, I hear the door open behind me. The woman was walking behind me, muttering under her breath the whole way and giving me a dirty look once she passed me. I’m certain she thought I was the asshole. When I told my husband about this, he said I was not the asshole but that I probably should have just let her in. In my opinion, crazy comes in all shapes, sizes, and ages and I’d rather make a situation uncomfortable than potentially unsafe for my child and other children. So, AITA?
Info: The area we were standing in wasn’t in any way uncomfortable. It was an interior entry space between a set of doors that open automatically and the door that has the keypad.
Are you an AH for following the daycares policy and not letting in a stranger? Come on. NTA
NTA of course safety of the children comes first
Do you really think this woman’s personal feelings somehow trump the safety of the children involved? NTA
NTA. This is a security issue. Sometimes grandma is NOT allowed into daycare. You did the right thing forcing her to be confirmed by the front desk person.
This! Grandma could be toxic and the parents have gone no-contact. She can be mad, but you’d 100% be the AH for letting a family member who was trying to bypass parents’ boundaries to get access to the child into the building.
NTA. You knew you weren’t supposed to let others in. It’s not to he rude, it’s literally all for the safety of the children. Forget this old lady! You did the right thing.
NTA, I do the same thing at my school. If you don’t have a badge to get in, buzz the office. Better safe than sorry.
You did the right thing!! My gym doesn’t allow piggybacking either, everyone understands and SHOULD understand. This is the rule, respect it and the kids will be that much safer. Good job holding your own and NO no one should just let someone in after them through a secure entrance. Gosh the horror stories I have from property managing apartment buildings, a daycare horror story would be so much worse!
NTA and that grandma is a liability.
Oh absolutely NTA.
Just because someone wants in, doesn’t mean they’re approved to pick up a kid. I can just see this turning into a kidnapping, with an abusive ex sending his mummy to grab his kid, that he’s not allowed to be around.
NTA would grandma be okay with you letting a stranger into the day care?
NTA. The kids’ safety is far more important than this woman’s feelings. It took her 10 extra seconds to get in. Is that really such an inconvenience if it means that the daycare is safe for kids? People are so selfish.
NOT the asshole. she clearly has no interest in protecting her own grandchildren. It’s like people that speed in my neighborhood. They rush at 5 o’clock to pick up their precious children down the street at the home daycare… taking zero consideration for the children that actually live on this block or the people and the pets that also live here. NTA
NTA
You don’t know who this woman is or if she’s even supposed/allowed to be in the building.
She could have been one of those grandmas who think that the kid is theirs or isn’t allowed near the kid. She could just be some random lady off the street.
I would 1000% make things awkward if it meant keeping kids safe.
She might well have been the grandmother of one of the children, but what if she was the mother of an estranged ex who wasn’t permitted to have contact with the child?
NTA, you did the right thing.