Last year, my best friend and I had a falling out, and I’m still not fully sure how much of it was on me. The final incident involved a concert we had talked about going to for months but never made solid plans for until the week before. At that point, she was struggling financially and had already said she couldn’t really afford even one day. Tickets had gone up in price, and it appeared that one-day tickets were sold out, leaving only the two-day option, which was much more expensive. I still really wanted to go and didn’t want to miss it.
Around this time, I had also gotten closer to a new group of friends who had been hanging out with both of us. A pattern had formed where we would all talk about plans, but my best friend often wouldn’t end up coming because she chose to stay home with her husband or take care of her pets. (We’re all 21 at this point)The night before the concert, one of our friends texted me late saying they wanted to meet up with another group and decide whether to buy tickets at the venue. (There was a pre party with a parade and stuff)Everything was last-minute, and I agreed without bringing it up to my best friend. Part of my reasoning was timing, and part of it was assuming the cost made it unrealistic for her anyway, which I now recognize wasn’t a great call.
We ended up going and buying the two-day tickets. The next morning, one-day tickets for the second day suddenly became available, and I reached out to my best friend to see if she wanted to go since that was the artist she actually wanted to see and it was less expensive. Around that time, she posted about feeling disappointed by people close to her to her close friends. I didn’t immediately realize it was about me, and my response didn’t land well. It turned into a bigger conversation where she said she felt we didn’t share the same values, though I later understood the real issue was feeling excluded.
I do take responsibility for that. Even though I reached out about day two, it likely felt too late since I had already gone the first day. I was very focused on myself and the experience and didn’t stop to think about how it might feel from her perspective. My intention wasn’t to leave her out entirely, but I can see how it looked like I went without her after talking about going together, and that understandably hurt her.