My husband and I are in our 20s and we own our house. For the last couple years, our place has kind of become the party house for our friend group. We host birthdays, Halloween, New Year’s, etc. The parties started small but now they’re usually like 25–30 people.
We enjoy it, but it’s honestly a lot of work. We have to lock our cats away, send our dogs to my grandma’s, buy food and drinks, decorate, and clean everything up after. Most of that falls on me and my husband.
This year has been really stressful because we both run our own businesses and I’m also in school. We decided we weren’t going to host any parties until summer.
My best friend recently asked if she could do a small Galentine’s party at my house because her parents wouldn’t let her host. She promised she’d handle food, decorations, and cleanup, and I trust her because she always helps at my parties. It’s only about 15 people, so I said yes.
A few days later, another girl in our friend group (who I’m not very close with) texted asking if she could have her birthday party at my house. I found out later she also wanted to do a St. Patrick’s Day party there and assumed I’d say yes because I said yes to my best friend.
The issue is that she’s extremely unreliable. She’s always hours late, doesn’t help with setup or cleanup, and usually doesn’t have money for food or drinks. I honestly feel like if I said yes, it would turn into me and my husband hosting and paying for everything, which is exactly what we said we weren’t going to do.
I told her no and now I feel awkward because I let my best friend use my house but not her.
AITA for saying no?
No need to feel awkward. It’s your house after all.
It’s your house. You can say yes/no to whomever you want, and don’t owe anyone a reason. Polish up that spine and don’t wind up as a doormat.
Your best friend has proven she can be trusted
Other girl has proven she can’t
NTA
NTA
Play up the fact that it’s your best friend who asked for the Galentine’s party, and the fact that she asked first.
“Hubby and I only have the bandwidth for the one party we already agreed to do.” (In your own words, of course.)
NAH. You have absolute discretion over when you choose to have people over. Even if it was just that you are closer to your best friend than this woman that would be totally fine. Add in that this person is a terrible guest and you are absolutely justified in declining her request to have you host.
I say NAH because from your post it sounds like she asked, was told no, and accepted it? Did she go bad mouth you to friends or something? As things stand you are absolutely justified in your decision but I don’t think she is an asshole just for asking if she took your no graciously.
Obviously NTA. It’s your own private property not a community center. It’s not your responsibility to host every party. There are plenty of other options (bars, parks, other rental spaces) they can choose to have their party.
Are you really asking this question ??
NTA STOP BEING A PUSH OVER!
Of course they want to use your house, it’s free and comes fully loaded cupboards with cleaning staff (aka you and your husband)
You’re not a venue for them to use as they see fit, and if you were you’d be charging them and making a profit, not getting a full weekend of cleaning and a huge shopping bill
NTA. As others have said, it’s your house. Plus, you granting that privilege to your best friend doesn’t mean it’s open house. Proximity matters!
NTA, you trust your best friend. She has shown responsibility in the past. Your home is not a venue to be requested. The fact that person had assumptions is a big red flag. You and DH don’t owe anyone open access to your home. No guilt and no explanations.
NTA. Your house and entirely your discretion on who you say yes to and who you say no. You don’t owe this other friend a party venue and if she’s asleep unreliable as you think then it’s safest to say no.
NTA
One is your BEST friend, the other is not. One is reliable, the other is not.
NTA
She is free to ask and you are free to say no.
Your friends are still children and you need to make the final jump to adulthood by telling them no. They can host parties when they have a place to actually host them. Until then they dont get to have parties or they can rent a spot. Their mommy’s amd daddy’s wont allow it…why would you? Say no every damn time. Host no one’s parties but your own. Honestly its fin ridiculous you let your friends treat your house like a fin frat house. They are children.