I (28M) work on a small team and there’s a newer guy on our team (I’ll call him Joe). We sit near each other and our work overlaps a lot so I’ve helped him out here and there.
A few weeks ago he asked me how I put together this weekly report we have to do. Over the years I’ve made my own template and a routine that makes it way faster.
He asked if I could send him my template file. I told him I’d happily walk him through how I do it and explain the steps but I didnt really want to just hand over my exact file. It’s basically my personal workflow and I’ve tweaked it forever.
So I stayed after work and spent about 45 minutes showing him everything. I shared my screen, explained where I pull the numbers, order I do things, what to watch out for, ALL of it. He took notes, thanked me, seemed totally normal about it.
The next week we had a team meeting and Joe presented his report for the first time. And I’m sitting there listening like this is basically my report. Same EVERYTHING even a couple little phrases I always use when I explain the numbers. When our boss asked him how he put it together Joe said something like "I built a simple structure that makes it easier" and left it at that, I mean no mention that I spent time walking him through it at all.
After the meeting I pulled him aside and said "hey, I’m glad it went well but it felt weird hearing you use my exact structure and wording and not even mentioning I helped you." He got defensive right away and said he didnt think he needed to "credit" anyone for help and that I was being insecure for even bringing it up.
Since then he keeps asking again for the actual template file like "it would save time" and "I already understand it anyway." I told him no and said I’ll answer questions if he’s stuck but I’m not sending him the file.
Now he’s been cold to me and I’ve heard he’s telling people I’m gatekeeping and trying to make him look bad. A couple coworkers said I should just send it because it’s a team environment and "it’s not that deep"
I dont want to be the difficult person but also feel like I already helped him a lot and he showed me exactly how he’s going to act with it.
AITA for refusing to send the template?
NTA; there’s little that is more irritating than a co-worker who, quite literally, steals your work (I’m thinking of the template as being your work) and claims it as their own. That your coworker claimed not to know that he was supposed to credit you betrays an incredible lack of either:
* educational preparation since post-secondary students are told, told again, and yet again to always credit others for their ideas; and/or
* ethics.
NTA
If he wants credit for the work, he should, you know.. Do the work.
Bingo.
Here’s an idea that might not only show that he did NOT do this on his own, and make you look like the ultimate team player. Send the file to *everyone*, including your management team. Explain this is what the idiot (though maybe not use ‘idiot’, heh) used, and you think everyone will benefit by using what *you created*.
Then sit back and enjoy the circus.
Don’t give it to him. Why? Because he was rude and could have just said you helped him and he liked how you set it up. He didn’t need to grovel, just give credit where it’s due. He doesn’t have manners or respect, screw him.
NTA- He has the notes to build his own file, don’t hand over your labor to someone who won’t acknowledge it.
NTA. If anyone says, “it’s not that deep,” it 100% is. I hate that phrase. He can make his own template if it’s not that deep, or go cry to his boss and tell him what’s going on. He won’t because then his lies will show.
NTA. I genuinely hate the “It’s not that deep” crew, cause it is that deep.
Same. If it wasn’t that deep/difficult, why couldn’t he just do it himself? Clearly he needed OPs help – still does, if he keeps asking for the template.
NTA. If he wants to get sole credit for developing a time-saving template, he can spend some time and effort making his own.
However, what I would do in your case is send the file to the entire team, copying your boss, and write something like
“On XX date, I walked you through the process I’ve developed over the last YY months to complete the weekly report in an efficient manner. Attached is the file that underlies the process. If you would like to continue using this process, please feel free and if you have any improvements, please let the team know.”
Don’t worry about him, just tell your boss who made it yourself, and make the file publically available for comany wide use. That’ll prove you made it, make you a hero, and co-worker can’t say anything negative about the situation. Wins all around.
NTA. Do not share your template with him. And depending on your relationship with your manager, it might be worth saying something. I wouldn’t full on tattle on him, but I would bring it up to make sure your manager is aware of your work.
“I am really happy to see that Joe’s presentation went well! I met with him last week and spent about 45 minutes walking him through my template and giving him some general tips. He seems to really appreciate my template and has been asking for a copy of it, so it had me thinking that this might actually be a great resource for the entire team. Do you have any objections if I shared this with our team?”
This is the advice I recently gave my husband in a very similar situation.
When his report is used and not credited, mention to the (shared manager) that he’s really glad that the copycat guy liked the report that husband wrote, and that he’s glad it was useful and valuable enough to be shared.
Act like it’s a compliment, but make sure management knows the source of the work, and ask a question or offer an action to backup the origin claim. (Like offering to share the template with the team, or lead a short meeting to help everyone get on the same page with it for consistency reasons.). It’s not tattling or whining if you’re ‘flattered’ and then offering to do something to help the team/company.
NTA. However, be sure to add your name to the metadata of any work you help with in case it comes up.
If you have a company intranet, document your solution and upload the template there.
Then email your team including the bosses, sharing the link and template with them, saying that you’re sharing it because co-worker asked for it and you thought it might benefit everyone.
You can record a video demonstration of your solution by using the snipping tool in windows, or the equivalent on whatever operating system you’re using.
In one fell swoop, you’re being a great employee by helping your colleagues and company, and you’re showing everyone that your co-worker is full of it. Without having to say it out loud.
If there are parts of your solution you haven’t shared, you can remove those from the template if you’re not comfortable sharing them.
ETA – NTA. There are people in the workplace who will beg, borrow and steal to make themselves stand out for promotion. I’ve seen these people take the ideas of others and get promoted too often.