For privacy reasons, I’m not gonna mention any names or anything but me and my roommate have been living together for almost a year now we’ve been best friends since we were kids.
I moved out a bit before her and she came out last summer (we do not live close to our hometown) i’ve been working at a job that has steady income. Me and her are both the same age, (early 20s) and I’ve known she’s had issues with money in the past (that being she’s not responsible with it).
Since she’s been living with me she hasn’t had the best sources of income, she pays her half of the rent but she has not been able to pay me for the utilities steadily since she moved in.
At the beginning of this year, she got a new job which she now has good money coming in (she just started getting paycheques a couple of weeks ago) but in January she didn’t pay me the utilities because she had to fix her car, which was over a grand and understandably I wanted to help her out. Also when she was working at the past jobs, I knew she didn’t have a lot of money so I was okay with paying all the bills because I didn’t feel like she was using me.
A couple weeks ago she found these dogs on the side of the road, she took them into the kennel to see if they had a family, unfortunately, they didn’t have a family but while she was there, the people showed her another dog and she fell in love.
It started with her wanting a cat (her friend offered) then it moved to the two dogs she picked up and now it’s moved to this dog, she’s been really adamant on wanting it but from my eyes, she can’t even pay her bills.
We got into a big argument because I told her that she just got this new job. She should give it a couple more months and then get a dog. She didn’t like what I had to say so she left and when she came back, I told her just to pay me her half of utilities and I don’t care anymore I’m so defeated.
I have lived with animals all my life. I would love to have a dog, but I know financially I cannot afford one. She says that she’s gonna quit smoking and she’s gonna quit getting her nails done, but she hasn’t done that yet so I don’t believe her. I guess I’m just scared that I’m gonna be stuck paying the utilities and having to cover for this dog as well.
Don’t get me wrong she’s my best friend and I love her to death, and I think a dog would be really awesome but she just started this new job. She’s still on probation And if she has enough money to pay for a dog, why can’t she pay me her half of the bills? (she also owes me money for other things that she hasn’t paid me back either)
I feel like the bad guy in this situation, but I’m not her mom and she’s an adult. She can do whatever she wants to do. I just don’t wanna be stuck paying the bills when she’s telling me that she can’t because she has to pay for dog food. So AITA or is what I’m saying valid?
Is your landlord okay about the dog? In my building only dogs under 25 pounds are allowed.
Our landlord is okay with having pets in the building. I don’t know if there is a weight limit though i am going to check the agreement in the morning, there was a pet fee but it was paid off already by my friend who lived here before me and it transferred when i took over the lease.
If she can’t keep up with paying for utilities how the hell is she gonna afford a dog?? Dog food and vet bills all add up not to mention all the money she’s gonna have to spend replacing stuff if/when the dog starts peeing & pooping and destroying stuff if/when it’s anxious. Who gets to clean up after it messes everywhere and who’s responsible for cleaning the dog hair off of everything? Also who gets walk it, train it make sure it well taken care of? Tell her if she insists on getting a dog you want nothing to do with it. It is entirely her responsibility. It will not be allowed in your room, you will NOT walk, feed, watch, clean up after, train, take to the vet, or PAY for this dog in any way shape or form! If SHE wants a dog that’s her decision BUT from now on she pay her share of the utilities AND RENT when they are due, ON TIME. If she can afford a dog she can afford to pay bills WHEN THEY ARE DUE!
NTA
That is my biggest concern!!! I told her she will be compensating me if the dog does damage to anything of mine as I own all the furniture in the apartment. And I’m mainly worried as where we live the vet bills can be quite expensive and if she doesn’t have any backup money incase of a emergency she might have to put the dog down or something which is the last thing I want happening mind you I used to work with dogs for a living before I moved out and so I know what it takes to take care of one and afford one.
NTA – does she actually know how much dogs cost to keep? Especially if you’re going to do it properly.
Be honest with yourself, OP – your bestie is taking advantage. Maybe not consciously but you need to set better boundaries. When I moved in with my best friend she helped me out with the initial costs but I PAID HER BACK. I never would have DREAMED of relying on her for paying my bills. We opened a joint bank account that was used for bills and we each paid our half into it based on generous estimates of our bills. Anything left over that accumulated we used it for some sort of treat/takeaway.
Super valid. It’s selfish to get an animal if you can’t provide a good quality of life.
Don’t let her do it. I let a family member live with us. He paid rent and what not just fine… but we let him get a dog bc we felt bad about him being lonely. He gets a rottie puppy. The thing makes it to 6 months old and our cousin ends up meeting a girl. He then started leaving the dog home in a kennel 16+ hours a day. Then he broke the kennel, then the dog was peeing and chewing my house for hours and hours. I helped as much as I could but the dog kept hurting our dogs and running over our toddler. It’s been 3 years since we kicked him out. Our house STILL has extensive damage. Just don’t do it. She can have a pet when she can live alone
NTA. Or never. Never is also a good time for your roommate to get a dog. Cuz homey, that’s also your dog lol