I (25f) have been best friends with Izzy (25f) since secondary school we used to hang out constantly and were pretty inseparable for years. When we were about 16 she started developing a crush on my older brother (27m). At the time it was kind of funny but also sweet and a couple years later they actually started dating properly and have been together ever since. When they got engaged she asked me to be maid of honour. Originally my brother actually wanted one of his friends to be best man but my parents pushed for my younger brother (19m) instead so he “wouldn’t feel left out” and eventually he agreed.
One thing to know about my younger brother is he genuinely thinks he’s hilarious. He’s always had that edgy 14 year old humour and insists if people don’t laugh they’re just “too soft”. He talks all the time about how he could probably do stand up one day. Before the speeches my older brother had actually told him to keep it short and normal.
His speech started normal enough a few jokes about my older brother growing up and some harmless embarrassing stories people laughed. Then he started talking about Izzy. First he exaggerated how she used to have a crush on my brother and said she was basically obsessed with him when we were teenagers. He joked my brother used to call her his “little stalker” and even said she probably only became friends with me to get closer to him. Some people laughed but you could tell she was getting uncomfortable. Then he kept going with more stories about their early dating years im not going to repeat them here because honestly they were embarrassing and definitely not appropriate for a wedding speech. Most people had gone silent and it was very awkward but my family were still laughing though.
My older brother looked uncomfortable by the end but at the start he was laughing along too which honestly made it worse. Izzy looked absolutely horrified like she wanted to disappear. At that point I’d had enough so I stood up interrupted him and said if we’re telling humiliating stories about people maybe we should include some about you as well. I took the mic and basically did my speech right then instead of waiting. Most of it was about how great Izzy is and how long I’ve known her but yes I did include a few stories about my younger brother too nothing made up just things he definitely hoped would never be repeated in front of our parents his girlfriend and about 100 wedding guests.
People were laughing again but this time my parents and the rest of my family looked horrified and my younger brother stormed out. Now my parents are furious saying I ruined the speeches and made the reception awkward apparently embarrassing Izzy was just “part of the joke” but embarrassing him crossed a line. Izzy did thank me later and said she was relieved someone stopped it but also wished it hadn’t turned into such a big scene. So now I’m getting blamed for ruining part of my brothers wedding AITA?
NTA . It should have never been his speech in the 1st place .
Assuming this is a true story (big doubt), it’s the newlywed who determine if you ruined the wedding or not. If Izzy thanked you, you definitely did not ruin it for her.
As a side note, let this be a lesson for everyone planning to wed: ask to read speeches before the wedding day to avoid unwanted surprises.
And have trusted people ready to shut things down if stuff goes sideways! Thats rule 1 of weddings!
NTA
Your family are nothing but a buncha enabling bullies who let your rude punk kid brother essentially humiliate the bride and groom but especially the bride, wherein guests were awkwardly silent after awhile because the anecdotes were no longer funny in a traditional sense but still heartwarming or wholesome.
It’s hilarious that he became such a crybaby who ran away when getting his medicine shoved down his AH gullet, and frankly I would’ve brought stories about your parents during the speech as well to get the point across.
Tell them that he’ll live and you were just making sure he was “apart of the joke” too.
hes so hyprocitical i’m soft when i dont like his offensive misogynistic jokes but when i make fun of him im now the big bully
You are a good friend and your family is horrible. Glad Izzy has at least you in her corner.
You need to get your older brother to tell off your family. He needs to defend you.
Tell your parents the bride thanked you and that’s the only opinion that really matters.
NTA
NTA
Tell your brother that if he can’t take a joke that he must he “too soft.”
Seriously — why would it be okay to humiliate the bride as “part of the joke,” but embarrassing stories about the best man are what ‘ruined the wedding’?
I guess we know who the golden child is
Without a doubt, was op’s parents who insisted on him being best nan, groom wanted someone he liked.
You’re NTA. You’re a HERO!! If the bride and groom had no problems with your speech, the rest of opinions don’t matter. ⭐️
If little bro can dish it out then he needs to learn to take it too. NTA.
Just keep pointing out to anyone who raises it that you did nothing your bro wasn’t already doing to others in the room.
Honestly your family are the AH’s for allowing your brother to humiliate the bride at her own wedding. Good for you for standing up for your friend!