We both do retail, selling at conventions and pop-ups. I sell more new stuff, he’s strictly a reseller.
I’ve been doing what I do since 2011
He has been doing limited online sales for about 10 years.
We don’t have a plethora of funds.
My business has $3000+ months. They may have broken 1k once in over 2 years.
But the majority of our resources are going into their inventory and what they want to do.
Now they’re sitting on these reseller groups and have a whole thing in their head about needing a big POS system, storefront and etc. We’d agreed 2 months ago they would stick to online sales as that was where their money primarily came from
Originally, I offered to partner with them and split things formally. They refused to sign any documents formalizing a partnership or incorporation
Most of what I bring in goes into household bills. I get regularly told I don’t contribute enough. When I have a full month of vends and earn good money – I have to hear about how I don’t do the housework. When I try to discuss this – I’m being disrespectful.
A lot of what they have said makes me feel like they expect me to be responsible for the debt they incurred building up their resale business. From purchases I did NOT agree to and many of them I was against – but not my money/not my problem.
My incurred debt is a fraction of theirs.
When I bring up the situation, I have to hear about how this was always their dream to own a hobby store & that is great – but they can’t afford to take that step right now and I do not want to take that step with them
I’m also getting on my feet after a bad divorce
I feel a bit put out b/c I have been working in the industry I am in in one way or another since 1996. This has been the closest thing to having a direction in my life, and I have been involved/making connections since I was a teenager
So AITA for not wanting to carry my partner’s reseller business and wanting to focus on what I have already worked for.
NTA but yall don’t seem compatible
NTA
They sound financially irresponsible and exploitative.
Do not sacrifice your business to assist someone who does not appreciate your time, effort and sacrifice.
NTA, but also what are you getting out of this relationship?
That is becoming less and less clear
Now ask yourself what is HE getting out of this relationship? Sounds like the scales are definitely tipped in his favor…
NTA: “running a business” means you deal with profit, debt, and all the other messy vagaries of operating a business. It does not mean “foisting all the financial responsibility onto someone else so I can just do the fun part by talking nerdy at conventions.” They’ve refused to take you on as an actual business partner; therefore, they do not get access to your business funds.
As for the home front, you two need to have a long talk about relative contributions: While you’re paying all the bills, it’s probably fair for them to do the lion’s share of the housework, and they need to understand as much.
Don’t endanger your own financial status/business for the sake of someone else’s dream, particularly when they’ve outright refused to share that dream with you.
NTA – You have every right to keep your business separate from theirs.
But you mentioned you just got out of a bad divorce, and you’re already financially involved with someone else? This new partner seems to be more focused on their passion than your stability which is a huge red flag.
Of course NTA. In fact, you’d be a fool to sign up with him for a storefront, especially without a written contract. You are managing your business well enough to make a living; clearly he is not managing the same.
The other aspect of your relationship to this man is that it seems he’s quite critical of you. Why do you accept this treatment from him? Sounds like he likes to keep you beaten down so he can feel more powerful. While his business concepts don’t sound viable, neither do your relationship dynamics, especially if you want to live a happy life.
NTA. Don’t tie yourself to this person. They’re putting you down, and you do most of the financial and housekeeping lifting, yet are chided when you don’t do quite enough to their standards, yet they don’t seem to push themselves, except when it comes to YOUR time and money.
You just got out of a divorce. Surely you learned a few things? Apply those more wisely
NTA. Not only should you not carry your partners business, I would seriously consider separating anything you’ve pooled together at this point. It’s likely a really good thing you did not formalize anything with him. You don’t owe his debt as a result.
Is this relationship working for you? Outside of what you’ve stated here, what are the up sides? Does he seem to respect you or does he seem to be just using you?
I’m assuming the divorce is fairly recent so this partnership is new. You should not be supporting anything for this new partner. They need to set themselves up. You don’t owe them the proceeds to your business.
Do you live together? Do you have to live together? Do you make enough to live on your own?
Your business and your relationship are separate things. Making business decisions purely out of passion or making relationship decisions purely based on financial considerations doesn’t work.
You can say no to business decisions that you don’t feel are wise or safe while still loving and supporting the person.
Your partner won’t allow you to make business decisions with them. It’s unfair to expect you to hand over money without having any say or in how it’s spent or any legal protections in place. NTA for protecting yourself. You have to make sure that you don’t sacrifice your own needs for someone else’s wants.
NTA. The exact arrangement doesn’t seem super clear to me, but you should’ve had an agreement before you mixed finances and households in terms of chores and budgets. Especially so soon after your divorce I think that was a huge mistake. I don’t think you or your “partner” are on the same page about much of anything, and that needs to be negotiated first, and foremost.
NTA this relationship is making you unhappy and feel unappreciated. Move on.
NTA Not everyone has a good sense of business. Not every product is worthy of a store front or huge inventory. Retail is a difficult industry. Congratulations on finding your niche. Please don’t let your partner sink your ship.