My best friend is moving again, she stores all her clothes in ripped and torn trash bags instead of packing them into stackable boxes. About 8 months ago I helped her move from a bad area to a much nicer area in another city, I rented a uhaul and loaded her clothes and bags into the van while she mostly watched. The entire ordeal took about 8 hours from start to finish. I did all the heavy lifting while she talked on the phone to her friends.
I work in sales retail and my schedule varies from week to week, so its hard to plan things in advance as I can make a request for time off but I cant always do it due to scheduling issues. I called in a few favors with my boss to get this day off yesterday as I was unable to move schedules around with my coworkers beforehand to get it done properly for coverage.
Now shes moving again because to her it feels better to rent a room with a family in it in a bad area then to live in a studio on her own in a good area. I dont want to rent a uhaul again knowing that its not nearly as far as it was before and Im fine taking my car. She can also use her car to help load things in and out and it would be slow, but wouldnt cost too much outside of gas. Instead of working around it, she screams at me and insults me for not renting the uhaul, for her, again.
So am I the asshole here?
ESH. You deserve a better you to you. I don’t know why you claim this person to be your “best” friend but I have to accept thats true, and if so, there has to be someone else that your not giving a shot.
YWBTA if you keep letting her take advantage of you like this. I understand that she may not be able to afford a U-Haul, but if she cannot taking her car would be the only option she has. She has no right to scream at you and demand you pay for her U-Haul AGAIN. To be honest I wouldn’t have even agreed to help her a second time if she didn’t help at all the first time.
NTA. You are a “friend” to her and not her hired moving company. She can move herself or she can hire you to do it. Having you rent the truck and do all the work is taking advantage of you. Friends don’t do that.
Let her figure it out on her own.
Your friend sucks. Stand up for yourself.
NTA. Why in the world are you even helping her? At this point I would tell her you’re done and she’s on her own. You don’t need to deserve to be taken advantage of.
YTA, for putting up with this. You aren’t moving so why isn’t your friend making the arrangements for the Uhaul. You already said she didn’t help much during her previous move. Why the hell would you sign up for more of that BS? You are totally enabling her. Tell her to put on her big girl pants and figure this out for herself like an adult.
YTA for being such a pushover. Have some self respect and don’t let your “best friend” use and abuse you
I would rather go to work then help her.
Her behavior does not fit my definition of a friend.
NTA she screamed at you and insulted you? You’re done. Don’t help her at all, in any way.
I would stop talking to this person. They’re using you.
DO NOT HELP HER MOVE
Of course you are not the AH, except to yourself ! the moment she started screaming and insulting you is the moment you should have said I’m done sort it yourself. Seriously leave her to it, maybe then she might start to appreciate you.
Let me get this straight.
When your “best friend” moved house eight months ago, YOU rented the uhaul, YOU paid for it, and YOU did most of the loading and unloading for eight hours while she watched.
In other words, you contributed your own money and and a full working day’s time and effort to help her move, while she contributed almost nothing. For HER OWN move.
Now she wants you to move her stuff again, she expects you to hire a uhaul AGAIN, and she’s insulting you and screaming at you – literally SCREAMING? – when you say you are still willing to help move her stuff but you’d rather do it in your own car.
My friends don’t scream at me and they don’t insult me. They’re grateful for any help I’m able to offer, and understanding when I can’t help.
**So tell us why you’re continuing to call this woman your “best friend”.** She doesn’t sound like any kind of friend, best or otherwise.
NTA for now – but only just.
I’m a whisker away from a verdict of E-S-H because you’ve been so passive about it.
You need to stop being such a doormat. Tell her to stop treating you so appallingly.
Her behavior is outrageous, but my sympathy for you starts to disappear when she’s done it before, you know exactly what she’s like, you could easily say “Hell, no! After last time, I’m not doing that again!”, and instead you keep coming back for more ill-treatment. Do you enjoy being bullied?
I would not have paid for the uhaul last time, and I sure as hell would not be getting involved in the move AT ALL this time. If she treats her friends this badly, she can hire the uhaul herself and move her own damn stuff. I wouldn’t be lifting a finger to help.