So basically, theres this pre-event in my uni thats for clubs to promote their events to people for like an upcoming bigger fest. I am a second year, naturally i went to this thing when i was a curious first year. And i hated it. Its a whole lot of people bumping into you, promoting their stuff and club members asking you to follow their instagram accounts. It was kind of the worst nightmare for someone who has social anxiety.
Now, i have two friends A and B. Friend B is in a club and is doing a stall themselves. So friend A texts me and is like "We should go check B’s stall out!! They’ll like it."
Now, i really like both of my friends but i didnt want to go after having 9-5 of classes and the place being in the opposite direction from where i live. So i said no. Then my friend just kept on texting me please please and said "B will be really happy if you go to them" like okay???
A cant take "no" for an answer and that kinda pissed me off. I didnt really talk that much to A during class but i confronted them after it. Then they said that they wanted to go together as a group cuz we didnt go during the first year. I get that but like its not really a ‘fun’ place for me its very uncomfortable.
All this was fine, I was about to get over my anger. Then they doubled down and said "I won’t take your no as an answer ill drag you everywhere." That did it for me. Like do I not have any say in where i want to go or not? I appreciate you wanting to hangout w me but if i dont wanna go to a certain place then you should respect that.
I have another class with them later and ill talk with them again.
So am i the asshole?
NTA. Your friend could use a sharp and clear reaction from you to understand that the world isn’t a romcom, and that their attempts to “rescue” you from your introversion are pushy and inappropriate. That sort of arm-twisting encouragement is only good when it’s something you really do want to do.
I hope they learn something, and that you end up feeling very free to choose your own path.
NTA, just explain why you hated it last year and tell her sternly that you don’t want to go through that again.
nta op. you’re allowed to say no. wanting to go somewhere uncomfortable for your own mental health doesn’t make you a bad friend. friend a literally said “i won’t take your no as an answer ill drag you everywhere” which is not friendship, that’s controlling. you don’t owe anyone going somewhere you don’t want to go and you definitely don’t owe them to ignore your own boundaries
just be clear with them again and stick to your no. friends who respect you will get it, everyone else is just adding stress you don’t need
NTA Ask your friend to please respect “No” as an answer and to let things go once you’ve declined.
NTA. No means no.
NTA, no means no. If you don’t want to go then you don’t have to – simple as that.