okay so I’m going to try to keep this short but I’m bad at that so bear with me
I have a cat. His name is Biscuit and he’s 7. My sister (32) is severely allergic to cats. Like this is not new information, she has been allergic her whole life, she carries medication, she knows the drill.
Last month I had a work trip, just a long weekend thing, and I asked if she could watch my place. First thing I said was "you know Biscuit will be there right, are you actually okay with this?" She said yes. I asked again maybe a week later when we were nailing down the details. She said yes. I literally offered to board him or get a pet sitter so she wouldn’t have to deal with it and she told me to stop being dramatic and that she’d be fine.
I came home sunday night and she was gone. There were two texts on my phone that I’d missed and a note on my fridge. The note just said his name. Like she wrote "Biscuit" on a piece of paper and left it for me to find. I still don’t fully understand what that was supposed to communicate.
anyway she had an allergic reaction bad enough that she went to urgent care saturday night. she’s totally fine. but ever since then she’s been telling my family that I knowingly put her health at risk and that I’m selfish for not just boarding him.
my mom called me irresponsible. my aunt is being weird about it. my sister hasn’t directly yelled at me but she’s doing that thing where she’s just really cold and clipped when we talk and I’m supposed to understand that I did something wrong.
and like. I do feel bad that she got sick. genuinely. but I asked her multiple times. I offered alternatives. she’s a grown adult who knows her own allergies better than I do. at what point does that become her responsibility and not mine?
Biscuit is fine by the way, currently asleep and completely unaware he’s caused a family incident
ETA: I’m not looking for people to trash my sister, she’s not a bad person, this whole thing is just so frustrating
Why would you need a house-sitter for a long weekend if the cat-sitting wasn’t part of it?
*I needed a cat sitter so I asked the one person I know who’s severely allergic to cats…*
Like, what did you think would happen?
ESH, except Biscuit
She thought that her sister would be honest and say no I can’t do that. That’s not too much to ask that a person be honest about what they can and cannot do
ESH. Why would you ask someone who is deathly allergic to cats to housesit your house which has a cat????
And why would she say yes and then act surprised? I wonder why she said yes and whether you’re withholding some information or not. Cause I cannot understand why you both did what you did whatsoever.
i hate to be that person but do we think it’s maybe AI? because it makes no sense from the perspective of a functional human
Why would you ask your allergic sister to house sit?
Even if you boarded the cat their dander/saliva will still be all over the house. She would have likely had a reaction anyways if it’s that severe. This is on her for not taking responsibility for her health. My husband is this allergic to dogs and we don’t go anywhere that has dogs for this reason.
Id also say you knew her allergy and should have hired someone.
I’m gonna say NTA but this is very close to E SH
YTA because where is picture of biscuit
ESH. Except Biscuit.
You never should have asked your highly-allergic sister to house sit. Even if the cat were boarded, cat hair and dander tends to cling to furniture and she might have still had a reaction.
Your sister is perhaps not the brightest crayon in the box for agreeing to this, but she is the shadiest leaf on the tree for starting family drama
The ONLY correct answer here is ESH
1 – You asked your sister, who is severely allergic to cats, to stay in your house WITH YOUR CAT for some reason….? You asked her to ‘watch your place’…who was watching your cat???
2 – Your sister, who is severely allergic to cats, agreed?
Why do you need our house ‘sat’ for 3 days?
WTH is the matter with the both of you?
Not even weighing in on the rest of the family because they don’t matter to this and clearly, they raised the both of you, so……
ESH. If she’s that severely allergic, she was going to have a reaction whether you boarded the cat or not. There is no way you could have adequately sanitized your house to prevent a reaction.
You should have never asked her to house sit.
She should be knowledgeable enough about her allergies to know that she should have politely declined because your house is not compatible with life for her.
ESH. Why would you ask someone with a severe allergy to house sit? Why would your sister as someone with a severe allergy agree to house sit?
INFO Why did you ask your severely allergic sister to take care of your cat and why did she agree to it?
Sounds like both of you didn’t really think much there…
I don’t believe this. Bizarrely illogical decisions by all involved and the text completely contradicts the title. Did you refuse to board the cat or offer to?