My uncle, who is retired, wealthy, and doesn’t have kids, has always enjoyed curating unique gifts for his nieces and nephews. This is very nice in theory, but the gifts seem to come with contracts. He always follows up to ask if I’m using/wearing/displaying the gifts. I always send thank you notes and make an effort to wear or use the things he got me when I see him, which is rare, because he lives 2,000 miles away.
A few years ago, he gifted me a framed poster that appears vaguely offensive from far away and only slightly less offensive when you read the print. I didn‘t want to display the poster, but for the one weekend out of the year that he was in town, I put the poster up on my wall. In that short amount of time, I had friends comment on how weird the poster was and how surprised they were that I had it up. I took it down as soon as his visit was over.
In the last year, I moved apartments. He has asked me a few times if I put the poster up and I don’t answer the question. It’s in my closet. I don’t want to put it up and I don’t think I should be obligated to. If I lie and say it’s displayed, I’m worried he will ask for details or to see a picture. AITA?
I’d send it back to him, or donate it to a charity. He doesn’t get to control how gifts are used, and he can’t force you to accept them either.
Need more details on the poster lol
Ikr i’m so curious
NTA. It’s gifted to you, it’s basically yours and you can do whatever you like with it, including if you wanna use it or not. I just think that your uncle is the type of person who likes it when the things he gives are being used/appreciated. Maybe try and explain it to him? I mean, there’s nothing wrong with having a proper conversation about it.
NTA
But be a grown up and be honest with him. You don’t have to be mean, but “I really appreciate the thought, but it really doesn’t fit in my home…” or however.
You shouldn’t have to mollycoddle a grown man.
NTA
But get rid of it, and next time he asks just tell him that you’ve redecorated and no longer display it.
Tell him it was lost in your recent move.
NTA
Your uncle should really know better than to ask. Even if you loved it, you might not have room for it
Gosh isn’t it a shame the movers damaged it? So sad it didn’t survive the move
NTA
Be careful, he might get OP another one.
Easy. Hang it on the wall. Take a photo and send it to your uncle. Then take it down and put it away. If he shows up suddenly at your place, explain a friend loved it so much you gave it to them. You just couldn’t deny it to them.
NTA. Once a gift is given, it belongs to the recipient (to do with what they like.) Of course, people who badger you with follow ups after giving you something, will not always embrace this fact, unfortunately. So feelings can get hurt.
If you normally don’t hate his gifts and you have a good relationship, I would just be honest with him.
If you really don’t think he will understand the real truth then tell him you don’t want to put up the poster because it “bothers” you. Maybe skip words like “offensive.” Depending on what the poster actually has on it, you can tell him it gives you nightmares, reminds you of a bad breakup, looks creepy in low lighting, makes you dizzy, etc… whatever. Or, you can say the colors, style, whatever don’t fit with your decor, so you have it put away for when you have a place for it. Basically, white lies to spare his feelings a little, while ending the badgering.
Lie. Put it up. Take a pic and take it down.
NTA.
But do you want more curated gifts from your rich, retired, childless uncle?