Hello, i am a teenage girl and I need friend advice.
For context I have a friend group that consists of 4 girls (me included). We will be using their initials such as J, V, and G. I don’t really get along with G because of some issues we’ve had in the past and so we simply avoid eachother as much as we can. Me and J are extremely close and we hang out a lot (3 times a week she comes over.) Me and V are also fairly close but not as close as i am with J. I also have a girlfriend which we will call P.
Me and P met in october and recently started dating. I have been spending a lot of time with her (especially in school). We don’t really like to text so we rely on face to face conversations. I go over to her place sometimes (always on weekends). I didn’t see this as an issue until it was brought to my attention yesterday that J feels like P is stealing all my time from me.
The main issue that J brings up is math class and how I walk P to most of her classes. In math class we have the whole friend group and the teacher changed the seating charts so one of us would have to sit away from the other 3. G comes in and sits in the middle of the 3 desks which messes up the order because if I were to sit on the right side I would be away from the person on the left, which i don’t want to be far away because again, me and G don’t get along.
I decided to just sit next to P (she sits alone). My friends were kinda confused and mad which I understood. So, I decided to join this little competition they were doing to make up for the lost time. Now we’re all a team and practice after school. J stated this was not enough and that I need to start walking them to class aswell.
I immediately disagreed and asked her to explain. (For more context, J has her bf who walks her to class and V has 2 other friends that walk her to class.) J said that she and V would appreciate my company while going to class. I brought up the fact that other people walk them and J said “You could just walk behind us and be quiet.”
I said FUCK NO. I don’t want to be ignored and walk BEHIND my friends just because they want my company. I’d rather walk with P and actually talk to her instead of being quiet and not talking with the people around me. J understood and asked “If you can’t walk us then will you eat lunch with us?”
I said FUCK NO. They eat with about 6 other girls who I don’t know and they’re very loud. I get overwhelmed easily with loud noises so it’s not a good fit for me. I eat lunch with P because it’s a quieter place and it’s just me and her.
I walk P to 5 classes in total (we have 8.) V came up to me and explained how she always sees me and P walking together even though it was not a class I walk her too. She also said it had been a long time since we’ve talked. That was false. WE HAD TEXTED THE NIGHT BEFORE!
Please give me opinions on what I should do and stuff. I will respond to comments asking for more context if it’s necessary.
NTA. Wanting space and choosing who you walk with is normal, not a betrayal
Im not really sure teenager drama makes sense on this sub. It doesnt break the rules but I dont really think anyone is an asshole when it comes to high-school drama
I wish people would use names and not P,L, etc. and write coherently. I can’t make heads or tails out of this mess
Basically, OP got a girlfriend. Spends most of her time with her girlfriend and her friends are upset about it.
Its basically the epitome of high-school drama
sounds about right 🥹✌️
same like i just feel weird and childish weighing in on teenage drama. it’s childhood! everyone is an AH!
NTA. These kids sound very dramatic, probably just butthurt you’re spending time with your gf instead. Nothing much you can really do to appease people like that.
That being said, you’re making excuses for why you don’t do this or that, but really you just want to spend time with your gf, which is fine and totally normal. What isn’t normal is how they’re reacting.
That’s all you really need to say imo. All that stuff about not liking the noise etc is irrelevant and you don’t really gain anything for using it as an excuse, even if it is true.
Don’t allow these kids to meddle in your relationship. They’re trying to get you to spend less time with your gf when you don’t want to do that. Doesn’t sound like very great friends if I’m being real.
You’re not the asshole here. You get to spend time with your girlfriend and take care of your own comfort.. walking behind people quietly or forcing yourself into loud lunch tables just to please them isn’t fair. True friends should understand that your time with P doesn’t mean you value J or V any less.
Are they toddlers or why cant they walk to a class alone?
INFO: Are you spending less time with your friends outside of school since you started dating P? Who did you eat lunch with before you started dating P?
i’m spending the same time i am with my friends outside of school. I used to eat alone.
NTA, obviously you’d want to spend time with your girlfriend and from what I read you don’t seem to actually neglect them since as you mentioned you hang out with J (since she seems to be the one complaining the most) at least 3 times a week. Your partner deserve your attention and it’s only natural. I don’t understand the issue, they have someone that walk them to class, they have someone to eat with, they have each other to sit during class…
To me it seems they’re not considering your comfort in this whole ordeal. How is it fair to ask someone to walk behind you just so they know you’re there…? That was really weird.