so i work part time at a retail job while im in school. it’s nothing serious but it helps pay for stuff and i try to keep my schedule pretty organized.
one of my coworkers has asked me to switch shifts with them a lot over the past few months. at first i didn’t really mind. if i was free i’d just say yes and move things around.
but lately it’s been happening almost every week. sometimes they’ll ask the night before or the morning of and i already planned my homework or other stuff around my shift.
last week they asked again and i said no. i told them i just really need my schedule to stay more stable because switching all the time has been stressing me out.
they didn’t get mad but they were clearly annoyed and said something like “ok i’ll figure it out.” since then things at work have felt kinda weird and they’ve been quieter around me.
i feel bad because i know they probably actually needed the time off and weren’t just asking for no reason. but at the same time i feel like i’m always the one expected to be flexible.
some of my friends say i didn’t do anything wrong, but one said that if i could’ve helped and chose not to then that’s kinda shitty.
now i keep thinking about it and wondering if i handled it wrong.
AITA?
You’re not obligated to keep changing your schedule you do what works for you. nice enough to have done it at all in the first place don’t feel bad.
NTA they were probably coming to you all the time because everyone else is fed up of swapping with them if they’re doing it that often.
Retired 🩺 shift worker. This ^ is so true. If OP isn’t careful the whole crew will be taking advantage of her generosity.
NTA. You did a nice thing and you don’t always have to do it. That coworker should consider changing their availability if they’re struggling to show up to work when they are scheduled. Also, it’s not up to you to continuously cover their shifts. If they’re going to be cold and rude because you didn’t want to do it, that speaks volumes about them, not you.
NTA. There’s no reason you should have to change your schedule every week. They can ask someone else for a change.
If they asked infrequently, fine. But they ask all the time without consideration for your schedule, which is self-centered and inconsiderate. NTA.
NTA. You were doing them a favour that you no longer want to do because it’s having an effect on your own life. You have no obligation to them.
NTA. You have helped many times. If that coworker is having issues with their schedule, they should talk to the manager about a change.
Your friend that made the comment about not helping if you could was shitty sounds like she would be the kind of person who would want someone to always cover her.
NTA your coworker needs to speak to the manager and let them know what her availability actually is. You don’t make the schedule so it’s not on you to fix it.
NTA. For future reference, you need not explain why you don’t want to change shifts. Simply say “I’m not available to work that day.”
This!! Don’t give a reason, because (a) that’s nobody’s business and (b) you give them something to argue about. You are simply unavailable. You have switched with them, and you have been happy to do so, but you simply can’t this time.
NTA, that is a perfectly legitimate reason.
>i feel bad because i know they probably actually needed the time off and weren’t just asking for no reason. but at the same time i feel like i’m always the one expected to be flexible.
There’s a saying I heard from a friend that has helped me in the past, and I think it applies here. Don’t light yourself on fire to keep other people warm.
Why do you have to suffer because the other person wanted some time off? If they’re asking you to take a shift almost every week, they’re the ones who need to get their shit together. They need to plan their life better and stop expecting you to suffer so they don’t have to. NTA