I (22F) have been friends with Leah (23F) for a few years. We’re usually close and don’t fight often, which is why this situation caught me off guard. Last weekend, we were at a small get-together with a few mutual friends. During the conversation, Leah started sharing a personal story about me that I hadn’t told everyone myself. It wasn’t malicious, but it was something I consider private and wasn’t comfortable having discussed in a group setting. I didn’t interrupt her mid-sentence or make a scene. When there was a natural pause, I quietly pulled her aside and told her that I wasn’t okay with that being shared and asked her not to bring it up again. I tried to keep my tone calm. Leah immediately got upset and said I embarrassed her and made her feel like she’d done something wrong in front of everyone. She said I should’ve just waited and talked to her about it later and that calling it out at all was unnecessary since she didn’t mean any harm. From my perspective, I felt like addressing it right then was the only way to make sure it didn’t continue and I didn’t think asking privately was disrespectful. I wasn’t trying to shame her I just wanted to set a boundary about my own information. Since then, she’s been distant and has told a few friends that I was rude and overreacted. Some of them agree that I was technically right but still think I should apologize for how I handled it. I don’t want to hurt her feelings, but I also don’t think I should apologize for calmly saying I was uncomfortable.
AITA for not apologizing?
NTA
NTA. She is acting like she has more rights to your story than you do, and somehow she is more concerned about her own embarassment than your own.. You also said you asked privately, so I’m baffled as to why she imagines your request was somehow embarassing to her.
She doesn’t get to play the victim for disclosing your story and experience that was yours alone to share.
Good for you. Quickly setting the boundary and letting her know how that affected you is the way to do it.
NTA.
I’m confused where the conflict is. If you quietly pulled her aside and asked her not to share it anymore, then how did you embarrass her?
Also we don’t know what kind of information it was or if it had been discussed prior this was a secret.
NTA. You don’t feel you did anything wrong, so the best you could honestly offer is a fauxpology (“I’m sorry you got upset”).
IMO NTA, it sounds like she got defensive about her mistake and tried projecting on you
Why would she feel entitled to tell your story to anyone else, especially when you are present? You didn’t embarrass her. you humiliated her to her face and she didn’t like it. Set your boundaries and enforce them immediately if they are crossed. You should also reconsider telling her things before you share it with others, make her the last to know.
NTA
NTA and you’re dodging a bullet, if she’s willing to share your private info when you’re there what’s she saying when you’re not. She knows she’s wrong and is just mad you called her out. If anything she should apologize to you and you shouldn’t trust her with information you don’t want to be made immediately public because she’s the town cryer
NTA. In fact, you still would not have been TA if you had interrupted her and said, “this is my personal stuff, I don’t want you talking about it.”
Why is SHE sharing YOUR personal story? Shame on her and you were more polite than I would have been.
NTA… You trusted her with a private and personal story and she blabbed about it. You handled it just fine and the fact she got upset and played victim says a lot about your “friend”
So she wanted you to wait until she finished sharing all of the information and then tell her that you weren’t comfortable with her sharing it. Makes perfect sense! NTA you handled it well and did it in a calm and private manner. She just doesn’t like that you called her out on it.
NTA. When someone tries to share personal info you told them in confidence, you not only are allowed to wait for a natural pause and quietly take them aside, but you can interrupt them right away and address it as publicly as they are telling your business. You have that right because it’s your story.
This person doesn’t sound like much of a friend.
NTA.
She should have apologized to you and reassured that she wouldn’t continue telling your story or gossiping about in general going forward. Sounds like you can move away from that relationship now.