Necessary context first. I (18F) babysit for my aunt’s (42F) daughter (2F). She has a daughter with Nico (34M). In December she mentioned early on that she’d like me to babysit on New Year’s Eve so she could go out. I told her it was likely I’d be home since I don’t really celebrate, but I couldn’t be certain because I didn’t know my work schedule yet. I emphasized this multiple times. Two weeks before, I found out I was working that night. When my aunt soon assumed I was babysitting, I corrected her that now I knew I was working. She was shocked and annoyed, and decided my brother (15M) could babysit instead if everything was set up beforehand. That’s why it was a big deal I wouldn’t be there.
The day before New Year’s Eve, my boss changed my schedule, so I was suddenly free at night. I didn’t tell my aunt because my brother was already babysitting and I planned to leave to run errands anyway. When I got home, I was exhausted and working on something in my room, I planned to have left before the baby got here but I lost track of time and I heard Nico arrive with my cousin, but didn’t go out because it wasn’t my responsibility and I needed to finish so I could leave.
Then I realized he was coming upstairs to set up the portable crib in my room. My room was messy, laundry blocking the path to the other part of my room, and I hadn’t prepared space. In my mind I didn’t want him to have to step over my dirty socks, and I am usually the one to set it up anyways. I met him on the stairs, he was holding the crib and a duffel bag. I said, verbatim, “I’ll take it,” in a normal, tired voice (my brother witnessed this and testifies that there was nothing wrong with how I said it). Nico handed me the crib, I set it up, came back down, took the bag, said “Okay, thank you,” and he left.
Ten minutes later my aunt called me yelling, saying Nico told her I was “super rude,” gave him “attitude,” and he was never coming over again. I explained my side and she calmed down, apologized, and said Nico wanted to let it go. I did cry because confrontation makes me cry and I’ve been stretched thin lately, so maybe she felt pressured to agree. I later apologized over text for not telling them I was home and possibly surprising him.
The next morning I told my aunt I’d continue to be polite and respectful to Nico, but I wasn’t comfortable being friendly until we communicated and resolved the issue, since he never said anything to me directly.
I’ve always tried to welcome Nico and think he’s a good dad. I’ve called him an idiot once in private due to things my aunt has confided in me (verbal fights, broken promises, unemployment), but overall I wanted him to be part of the family. I thought things were resolved, but my mom later told me my aunt said she thinks I’m overreacting.
I’m stressed because I’m nonconfrontational, but I want to start the New Year standing up for myself. I’m worried I might have a blind spot and be too harsh. Any advice is appreciated