My wife (29F) and I (31M) have a 6-month-old daughter. Before she was born, we agreed we didn’t want photos posted publicly. My mom (58F) usually respects this… until last week, when she posted a clear picture of our daughter at the park.
I asked her to take it down and explained it’s about privacy and consent. She claimed I was only doing it because of my wife and that I didn’t really care. I raised my voice and told her she’s crossing the line and making our already complicated marriage harder. My mom says I was disrespectful.
Later, I talked to my wife about it. She said I was right to stand firm, but then said my mom probably won’t babysit again and that she can’t be trusted around our daughter. I told my wife she was overreacting and that it wasn’t fair to punish my mom for one mistake. The conversation escalated quickly, and I ended up raising my voice at her too.
AITA for standing up to my mom and for how I handled my wife’s reaction?
YtA and get ready for the divorce.
If your mom breaks the rule, doesnt apologize or take it down then why do you think when she babysits, she will be better.
Nope. Hope your wife leaves cause Noone should get yelled at
NTA about your Mom. YTA about your wife. Your Mother crossed the boundary you and your wife agreed on. Whats to stop your mother from crossing other boundaries you as parents have set. Your wife is right. Your Mom can’t be trusted around your daughter. You’re not punishing her by not allowing her to see her solo. She can visit the baby all she wants when one of you is around.
All of this. Also your mom clearly has beef with your wife if she thinks she’s the instigator of the policy. Watch that carefully..
YTA your mom made multiple mistakes. She posted the picture she didn’t take it down and she blamed it solely on your wife.
Boundaries are nothing without consequences and not having access to your child (at least for some period) is more than fair. Report the photo so it gets taken down and apologize to your wife.
YTA. Your mom has just shown that she respects none of your rules, and this is just the beginning of her doing exactly what she wants, your and your wife’s wishes be damned. You need to read your mom the riot act and apologize profusely to your wife or you’re soon going to be one of those “The divorce came out of nowhere!” guys.
YTA – For talking to your wife like that. Like especially if your Mom did not take down the picture. You and your wife agreed and set a boundary, but now that your Mom has broken it it is not that big of a deal?
I mean you sorta get points for trying to correct your Mother, but what is the point if there are no consequences when your Mother thinks she did nothing wrong? How can you trust your Mother is not going to continue posting pictures?
Boundaries without consequences are simply suggestions. Of course your mom should not be allowed to babysit for some time. That’s not a punishment, but a consequence of her disregarding your decisions as a parent.
YTA for yelling. Learn how to communicate effectively. Why are you telling your mom she’s complicating your marriage? Instead you could have owned that independent of your wife, this is your choice and your mom should respect you instead of trying to drag your wife into this. And secondly, you shouldn’t be yelling at your wife. Stop contributing to situations escalating and be a leader who can keep things calm.
YTA. Apologise to your wife. She doesn’t deserve to be yelled at. The blame lies in your mother,not her.
INFO:
how many times does your mom get to make a “mistake” with your boundaries and privacy with your child and not apologize and blame it all on your wife until you would no longer have her babysit?
Did your wife say your mom can’t see the baby anymore or can’t babysit anymore?
Edit: I’m completely weirded out by the people who seem to think a grandparent posting a grandchild online is their right or something. Keeping a child’s image offline as long as possible is a completely normal parenting opinion. 😬
YTA, have an anger issue and act horribly. You were disrespectful to your mom, not by raising the boundary but by screaming at her. Then you scream at your wife for upholding the boundary you just screamed at your mom about? I understand you are the ‘complicated’ part of your ‘complicated’ marriage.
YTA it sounds like you just go around yelling at the women in your life
YTA, for the love of *God* take anger management classes. Your mom was in the wrong 100% and you clearly can’t stick to your own principles. My condolences to your wife and the mother of your child- who should be your #1 priority btw🙄
Yta . You were so close. Your marriage is complicated because you don’t listen to your wife. Who was 100% right!!
YTA
Your mom violated you and your wife’s parenting boundaries. Your mom explicitily called your wife controlling and said you don’t have a back bone. She disrespected your marriage and parenting.
Your wife, the mother of your daughter, does not feel safe with her watching the baby. She gets a say in who is responsible for watching/protecting your child. Childcare is a 2 yes situation.
YOU decided to take your frustration out on your wife for sharing a vaild concern, you share about your baby being on social media. YOU disrespected your wife when she literally was reinforcing the decision you made to ask your mother to take down the picture.
She is not punishing your mother for one mistake, this is probably the first one that you noticed. You need to learn how to speak to the woman you made vows to, and realize the family you have now is the one that you’re currently tearing down instead of building.
Your mother clearly does not like your wife but you still share marriage issues with her, do you want to get divorced?