Me and my wife made an agreement when we got married about taxes. That one year, she would get the federal portion and I would get the state, then swap the next year. Every year that it is her turn to get the federal portion, something big comes up and she usually ends up taking the entirety of the taxes. Last year she needed a car, so she bought a car. It was more than she had so I threw in the rest so she could have what she needed. FF to this year, my truck has 300k miles, is 30 years old, and I have had to work on it every month for the last 2 years. It’s tired. I’m tired. It’s time for a newer truck. I talked to my wife about taxes, but this year she wants to do differently. She wants to split taxes straight down the middle, meaning I won’t have nearly what I’ll need to get what I need. AITA for not wanting to change our agreement because I need a newer truck? Or should I feel slighted because the truck i do have, I have to constantly work on, it doesn’t have air or heat half the time, it’s just generally not reliable.
Edit: I am aware I explained the taxes poorly. The taxes are a refund. She’s a SAHM. I work. I overpay in taxes. Yes, I know it’s wrong. Fuck the government and all that. I do it this way so that in case we need something (like a vehicle) we can get it. No they are not brand new. I’m not getting that much back.
If we don’t need anything, it goes to savings. When I feel like I have adequate savings I will adjust my withholdings. If I was single, this would’ve already been done.
NTA since it seems you’ve been flexible when she’s needed it
You’re married. The money belongs to both of you. Stop playing games with tax money and just figure out what you need as a married couple.
This, it feels like a stupid agreement to begin with.
ESH, combine your finances like a normal marriage. Playing these “my money your money” games does nothing but cause resentment between marital partners, as you are currently experiencing.
Also you’re more of the AH if it’s usually your wife covering all of the taxes and here you are complaining when this year you need to cover half. If you want “equal” contributions then it sounds like you should be paying all of the taxes this year.
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Hes talking about the tax returns. What on earth made you think she was asking to pay all the tax in the same year she wanted a car.
I think you’re misunderstanding what’s going on. OP is only referring to the refunds. One year she gets federal refund, the other year he does. They are both paying taxes and filing as a married couple. You can’t “cover” taxes for a spouse in the US. It doesn’t work that way. Taxes are taken out of your pay by your employer. Refunds are when you’ve paid too much in taxes. OP is also explaining things poorly.
NTA. Offer to split it down the middle if she gets rid of her new car and repays the portion that you contributed. Otherwise enforce the previously agreed upon arrangement and get a new truck. Offer to split it down the middle next year, when it’s her turn.
If you’re I the US talk to a tax accountant. If you’re getting a huge refund, which seems to be the case, you’re basically giving the government an interest free loan your money. You should adjust your withholding so you keep more money throughout the year and get a smaller refund. Never give the government interest free loans.
Agree with everything you said. Also want to point out that they might not even be contributing equally to this tax return “windfall” they are receiving (I put it in quotation marks because as stated, it’s already their money, not free money gifted by the government). One of them could have their withholding set too high and the other has it set correctly. One of them could have a much higher income than the other. Tax returns can fluctuate greatly based upon income changes and tax law changes. The every other year plan is terrible for that reason. What if last year you got a $5000 return and next year you owe $1000?
If they want to keep finances separate, they should file separately. It would cost them more money but eliminate the contention point in their marriage.
NTA by the way. Wife is NOT being a team player in the marriage.
NTA
If she wants to split the refund this year, half of previous years refunds that she received should be subtracted off and given to you to make things fair.
Also, if this is a sticking point, consider doing the withholding worksheet to have your withholding adjust so you get a slightly higher amount in each paycheck and lower refund.
NTA but also if you’re in the US stop giving the government interest free loans and talk to an accountant. If you’re getting refunds large enough to buy new vehicles you’re likely overpaying on taxes significantly.
Sounds like I’m around your age. Haven’t owed a dime or taken a refund in many years. It’s incredibly nice having extra money to budget and save responsibly rather than getting a big check from the gov in March/April that many people find a way to waste because the cash burns a hole in their pocket.
You take the full amount this year and split the refund in the future.
Your wife has a very simple financial philosophy IMHO.
What’s hers is hers, and what’s yours is hers.
This would be a non issue if you managed your withholding during the year. A tax refund is not free money. It simply means you overpaid your taxes during the year and now the government is giving you back the overpayment.
Your goal should be to get a very small refund or owe a small amount- about $100. Until then, keep to your agreement.