Hi all,
I, (20F) and my boyfriend, A (21M) are arguing about my gym clothes. I haven’t been to the gym in about a year and a half due to a knee injury and I’ve just recently started going again. My previous boyfriend was an athlete, when we were dating he bought me all my gym clothes from his team store. They’re very good quality and were much cheaper than similar alternatives, however they do have the logo of his team on them, obviously at the time I didn’t care but my current boyfriend had a real issue with this.
Last week when I got the green light from my doctor regarding my knee I dug out all my gym clothes, A asked me what the logo on them was and I explained the situation to him. A says he doesn’t want me wearing those and that I need to get rid of them. I told him that I won’t be doing that, as to replace all these clothes would be like £300, I’m a uni student so money is tight and I just can’t justify spending so much on gym clothes when I have plenty of perfectly fine ones right here. He really didn’t like this answer and said he won’t come to the gym with me while I’m wearing these and that he feels disrespected, I said he’s welcome to buy me some new clothes if he has such a problem with them but he didn’t respond. So, I’ve been wearing my old clothes with the logos on to the gym for the past week and things are tense.
Am I wrong for how I’m reacting? I can partially understand why A is upset, but the reality is that I can’t justify spending £300 on new clothes right now. I was hoping he’d just be mature enough to leave it and be happy that I’m healed up and able to go to the gym again. Edit: Am I an asshole for not throwing away the clothes from my ex and replacing them with worse quality ones? AITA?
NTA. Good gym clothes are expensive! Why does he care so much about a logo? That’s very insecure. Don’t date men who tell you what you can and can’t wear, regardless of their reasons.
INFO: is the ‘logo of his team’ just a logo or does it include ex-bf’s name?
If just a logo, NTA, current bf needs to grow up
If the team name does for whatever reason include ex-bf’s name, still NTA, they’re gym clothes who actually cares? (If he cares that much then as you suggest he can buy replacement kit).
Red flag. Insecure man. If he’s this threatened by you simply wearing clothes someone else bought you, where does it end?
NTA. Get a new boyfriend who isn’t insecure. Throwing those clothes away is a ridiculous idea.
Absolutely NTA. He’s being completely ridiculous in my opinion, wearing those clothes is not a sign that you’re still holding onto your ex or anything, it’s just that these are perfectly good clothes that shouldn’t be wasted. Also buying new ones not only would be a waste of your money but also overconsumption as there’s no real need to replace these clothes. I hope you can convince him that he really doesn’t need to worry but if this persists I can only suggest trying to sell the old clothes on a platform like Vinted or Depop and using the money from that to buy yourself new clothes. But it shouldn’t have to come to that.
NTA, if he feels so strongly he can buy you new ones. It’s not like you’re still wearing an engagement ring from your ex
Lose the immature, controlling boyfriend. Keep the gym clothes. NTA
honestly if he’s already policing what she wears to the gym, what’s next? it never stops at clothes.
“He really didn’t like this answer and said he won’t come to the gym with me while I’m wearing these and that he feels disrespected…”
Your BF is an immature, controlling ass. HE feels disrespected? Unbelievable.
Oof, man. There’s a really big difference between him telling you those clothes make him uncomfortable and him telling you to get rid of them.
If he’s this comfortable being so outright controlling now, it’s not going to get better.
I still wear the diamond earrings my ex gave me because they don’t irritate my years. Your BF is being way too insecure.
NTA. Boyfriend is unreasonably insecure. It would be one thing if your clothes said old boyfriend’s name, but a random logo? He’s threatened by a logo?
If he isn’t willing to buy you $300 worth of new gym gear, I’d shrug and go on with your life. Don’t throw out perfectly fine gym clothes to appease an insecure boy.
Are you sure you didn’t transpose those numbers and he’s 12 not 21?
At this point it’s cheaper to replace the insecure boyfriend than the gym clothes.