Hi reddit, using a throwaway today!
So I (18f) and my bf (19m) celebrated his bday at my house last night before he goes to his dads which is an hour drive from us. He has been talking about wanting an upgraded PC as he just has the actual laptop and not a cool setup thing. I decided I’d splurge a lil and get him the whole setup. It cost like 3grand. A LOT of money that I usually don’t spend on gifts but he’s been wanting it for so long and I don’t have anything to pay off or anything so I’m pretty financially free atm.
He goes to open this gift and he’s unboxing it, looking really excited. Then he opens it and says “tf is this?” I was very confused and said it’s the setup he’s asked for. He sighed and was like “yea, thanks but it’s the shit version.” I asked how it could possibly be a shit version and that it was so expensive. He said “babe, this is a massive downgrade for the setup I had on my notes that I sent to you.“ by this point I was kind of close to crying. I was excited for him to see the gift and I was upset he didn’t like it bc I love gift giving. he told me I was making him feel bad and that it’s not that big of a deal and to just buy him the better one for Christmas. I told him I’m not buying him anything and I grabbed the box. He said I was slack because I bought him a shit version and now are not even giving him anything and said it’s his birthday and I’m making it about me. He was going on and on and I just said “I’m returning it tomorrow. Don’t even worry.”
He’s saying I’m TA, my dad and brother said he’s being an asshat, but my mum and his mum are saying I should’ve just got the right one instead of spending money on a gift he didn’t want and then returning it is cheap. They also were annoyed that I started crying about it. Idk how to feel. I know why I’m upset but I don’t get why he’s upset. He hasn’t texted or called since he left. AITA?
edit: my mum and his mum were basically saying it would’ve been better to spend whatever the right pc cost and get a good reaction/the right present, than to have gotten the wrong one and spent a lot of money already. also for those commenting asking how or why I bought a 3k pc, idk why it was irresponsible. but I have been working since I was 16. I have been getting independent money and buying myself things for a while now, I’m pretty much fully financially independent besides my mum paying for school. i also saved up for this gift for a while, I wouldn’t just have 3 grand normally to drop on a present. he also did not specify which model, but showed me pictures of what he was wanting to get. I got one that looked nearly identical to a photo he showed me but he’s saying I bought the wrong model. Which in fairness I should’ve asked exactly which one it was.
Lesson learned here: don’t buy other people expensive computer setups that they may or may not want, or if you insist on doing so (unwise) buy the exact link they send you.
That being said, you’re NTA. He acted like an ass and openly told you the gift was shit, so I’d 100% return it and never buy him anything like it ever again if I even stayed with the guy.
Nah he handled the situation poorly, he could have spoken to you after about it. His rudeness is awful
This is so obviously made up. You’re 18, spent 3k on a desktop setup for him, and your mom says you should have just spent more? Okay, sure, that’s super believable. /s
WTF, that little ungrateful shit. I am sure it is better then his laptop. Take it back, he can buy his own pc and I would rethink this relationship as well. You should not be treated like this. NTA by the way
Your boyfriend should never talk to you like that. He’s 19, should be more mature. Ask him to grow up.
No teenager is buying their boyfriend a $3k gift
NTA you mean your ex bf? He complain about a 3k pc, then ask you to buy the upgrade version for christmas?
He doesn’t love you and only value how much you spend for him… time to upgrade your bf to a better model not his computer!
Return the gift and invest in your future. This is the perfect time to build savings.
Take it back and dump him, he’s a selfish prick
NTA, new boyfriend time
NTA. Instead of handling it gracefully, and saying “Hey, maybe we can swap this piece out for the higher end version, and I’ll help pay for it.” he was just an a-hole about it. Unfortunately this is selfish behavior at best, and abusive at worst. You spent more money on him than most people can afford for a vacation, and he was horrible.
Your boyfriend sounds so rude and ungrateful.
Never bring him a gift again.
Better yet throw the whole boyfriend away.
NTA. After giving such an expensive gift and getting shit for it I would say your gift giving days in case of this bf are over. First of all I’m 47 and have seen my share of gifts in my own life, but I can’t even remember have I ever got such an expensive gift myself. Besides the older you get the less giving AND getting actual material gifts means because you realize that loved ones and friends are the real gift in life. So use your money and your love to someone else who actually appreciates it.
ESH You for spending that much money (at your age) on a bf. Many adults with jobs don’t even spend that much on their spouses. LOL Him, for how he reacted.