I, 17f went with my boyfriend, 19m, to get his hair done today. I wasn’t planning on staying for the entire appointment. (He wanted me to come in to meet his hairstylist cause she’s a loc-tician as well and I’ve been thinking of locking my hair.) The hair appointment was in an apartment that wasn’t well-built for lack of a better term. I immediately just wanted to leave but considering I live in a low-income country I wasn’t so much scared as I was just put off by the crumbling stairs and reeking scent of weed. When we walked in he introduced me to her and she seemed nice enough, but not talkative, which was absolutely fine cause neither am I and I wasn’t sticking around to talk anyways. My boyfriend got sat in the chair and she started combing his hair out, which was rough cause he has 4c hair and it was a little tangled. He was making a funny dramatic face, which I found adorable, and like anyone admiring their partner, I took out my phone and decided to take a picture.
For clarification, she was not in the picture in any way. The photo was completely zoomed into his silly face cause that’s what made me take it the first place. I barely snapped the picture when she looked over at me with an incredibly angry expression and asked me if I was taking pictures. I said yes, but only of my boyfriend cause I didn’t see anything wrong with doing so. She yelled at me to stop and that it was disrespectful, so I just said sorry and left. I understood her and was genuinely apologetic so I didn’t try to explain anything. What did bother me, Is that not long after my boyfriend left with his hair half-braided and called me saying they’d kicked him out cause of it. They said I was incredibly rude and that she couldn’t continue his hair because it was an invasion of her home privacy. His hair wasn’t done, and has yet to get back his down payment.
I completely understand her, but I believe she is overreacting. AITA?
NTA. If she had an issue with you taking a photo, the right response is just telling you that professionally (since this is her business, no?) and continuing with the service. I don’t get why she’d kick your boyfriend out AFTER she had already made you leave?
NTA if she didn’t have any stated policies of not taking pictures, you did nothing wrong. Also, most places encourage before and after pictures to showcase their work. The stylist behaved in a very unprofessional manner.
This is not a salon. She was in someone’s home. And even when people want before and after pictures they typically take them themselves. It’s different if you go home and post pictures but most people don’t do it from the business.
I’ve always done it in the business, the stylist even helps me take the best pictures! I get it was in her home, but OP took a picture of her boyfriend, not the apartment or stylist, and the stylist didn’t even give her time to explain. Aside from that, canceling services on the boyfriend after OP had left was unnecessary. Also, as I mentioned, she didn’t seem to have any stated policies about photography. If she doesn’t want people taking pictures, she should let people know beforehand.
NTA. To be fair, the stylist couldn’t have known you had zoomed in on your boyfriend’s face, and I can understand that she might not want someone taking pictures of her or her apartment. But her reaction was extreme. Making a mistake doesn’t make you an AH, but refusing to finish your boyfriend’s hair and not returning his money makes her one.
NTA. No that’s ridiculous.
Before you come to any conclusion from these responses I think you need to consider where commentary is coming from and that by and large you will receive ethnocentric opinions regarding what happened.
As far as taking pictures of random people? I’ve seen lots of funny videos of Westerners going to 3rd world countries thinking they could photo and record anything and everyone like they do back home. Thinking their freedumbs counted away from their home country. Or people expecting the same Or higher level of subservience from workers.
But even in a first world country, especially in rough neighborhoods, i would be wary to take pictures of someone and in someone’s private place.
I don’t know if she is overreacting. For some people respect and pride matter a lot more. It is what it is. Like I wouldn’t care so much if someone gave me a pink lighter with a wink. But apparently in some Chicago neighborhoods that can get you shot.
I mean you said yourself you live in a 3rd world country, and was in a bad neighborhood, in a stranger’s private home.
There are different rules. Funny seeing some of these uppity comments about professionalism.
I get being wary of photos in a private area. But also, why run a buisness when you’re clearly doing illegal stuff in the same place you’re doing said buisness? And yes, professionalism DOES matter regardless of what country you’re in. I grew up in this country and know about gettting hair done in sketchy places to save a buck. I once got my hair done on a rooftop at midnight, and that was more professional than this situation. The downpayment has still not been returned which only solidifies my opinion that it wasnt about the photo in the first place.
YTA. Yes he was there for a service but you were in someone’s home. She doesn’t know you, according you, you all didn’t talk much, and when she’s not looking she hears you taking pictures.
She had no idea what you’re up to. You could be reporting her for doing hair out of her home. I understand why she didn’t want to risk finishing your boyfriend’s hair.
Doing hair out of a home isn’t illegal here and quite common. Weed is however.
The more I read your post and replies?
You say you know how things work yet here we are.
You 100% did not pass the vibe check and had to feel the consequence.
Going in to a sketchy place, that had sketchy things going on, and taking pictures around strangers that may or may not have been doing sketchy things.
Everyone makes mistakes, but it’s the lopsided indignation that really brings it full circle.
Maybe stick to salons.
Causes knowing how things work and understanding risks doesn’t excuse poor service nor robbery. Obviously I’ll apologize for taking a picture a million times over cuz I am genuinely sorry for making someone uncomfortable, but what I won’t do is act like this person isn’t weird asf for her behaviour. And there is no “vibe test” when YOU’RE RUNNING A BUISNESS?? If you’re not gonna finish a service then don’t keep the money. Tf.
If that’s what you want. Those kinds of rules, expectations, etiquette, service, etc etc.
Stick to salons for hair service. Legit businesses.
Don’t go to sketchy places, where sketchy things are happening, and start taking pictures around sketchy people that may or may not be doing sketchy things.
It’s why I’ll happily pay extra and deal with extra paperwork to go with a fully licensed and insured legit contractor with legit business instead trying to save money with some random sketchy person from a sketchy place doing sketchy things.
And if I do go with the sketchy x 3 I know it comes with a whole different set of unspoken rules.
And it doesn’t even have to be sketchy, hook ups and different cultures have different rules. You broke them.