My father’s behavior toward me changes depending on what kind of man I talk to, and it’s really confusing and stressful for me.
When it’s my father’s friend’s son and a man he thinks is unattractive like maybe fat or with specs and short and pimples , he smiles and asks why I don’t talk to them or why i go out and leave the house before they come over. He tells me that his friend and friend’s son are very nice and talkative so i should meet them. He says why is your behavior like this.
But when the man is good looking or a man from my office that I find cute, my father becomes angry and stressed. He asks many questions, watches me and the man closely.
One time he saw me talking to a cute man from my office and his eyes were wide open like he was shocked. He kept staring at the man and then at me, not in a happy way.
I obey my father ever since i was small and he has never directly or angrily forbidden me from talking to men the way some fathers do. Instead, he will will nervously while looking at me say “Nowadays you talk to men, huh”. I feel that these comments are not general, but are specifically about one situation where I spoke to a man from my office who he seemed uncomfortable with. Even though he doesn’t openly stop me, the way he says these things makes me feel nervous and unsure of myself. I told him i am going to do it and i want to. He hot shocked hearing this and ever since has been moody and is not being loving like before.
His anger and reactions make me very nervous and uncomfortable, and I don’t understand why he treats the situation so differently depending on how the man looks.
AITA in this situation?
Girl, bye!
Wdym
NTA It REALLY sounds like you dad is jealous of you talking to attractive men or men you might be interested in. I really want to say that maybe it’s because he’s worried you’ll meet someone and his ‘little girl’ will ‘grow up and leave him’, but it sounds like he’s upset that you might find these men attractive at all and that has some really gross connotations.
If you are 12, wait a few years.
If you are 18, movce out and escape your creepy and controlling dad.
NTA
Your dad has made you his surrogate wife. It’s like emotional incest.
His jealousy is he’s afraid you’re going to abandon him so he tries to manipulate you.
It’s unhealthy…for both of you.
It definitely read a bit like that to me too. I definitely need more context on their culture since it doesn’t read as US American, but…
I think it’s more that he’s mega insecure and projecting in a way. Maybe she looks a lot like her mom and he sees “uglier” guys as younger versions of him, wanting her to give them a chance. Does that make sense?
Since you mentioned working in an office it is apparent that you are indeed an adult. You saying you “obey” your father and this whole situation is extremely bizarre and inappropriate. Not to mention some other things like creepy and weird. If this indeed true it’s time for daddy’s little girl to grow up, move out, and get a life that does not include having “daddy” part of your interactions with the opposite sex. None of what you are describing here is normal and you should consider getting a therapist to help you detach from this controlling relationship. NTA
From the way you write it seems like English isn’t your first language, where are you from or what is your culture? That might help us understand a little more.
INFO: How old are you?
NTA your dad is creepy and controlling.
Most likely, he doesnt want you to date ever, so think that the “fat/ugly” guys won’t interest you, just as friends. But the hot ones, you’ll want to date.
Or he wants to set you up with the friend ‘s son.
Is your mother still in the picture? If not, he might wants you to stay just for chores/cooking or emotional support.
How old are you?
NTA, try and put some distance between you.