Okay so I joined college and met a lovely friend group who I love so much , it’s mixed gender with boys and girls. My best friend ‘Patricia’ used to date ‘mic’ another boy in the group , however when they dated this girl ‘amy’ his ex send pictures to him and it was very much a mutual thing between Amy and mic . At the time Amy was not in the group and wasn’t friends with any of them however she’s always had feelings for mic. Mic and Patricia broke up in the summer and college started in September. Since college started Amy has wanted to join the group but there’s been lots of drama around her ‘crazy’ behaviour and how she said she would ‘ stab a voodoo doll ‘ of mics new girlfriend and the nudes situation with Patricia. Amy clings to mic and no one really wants her in the room due to the drama but she kept asking college teachers if she could sit with us so she does at lunch and break . Amy and me speak occasionally as she is nice to me and feels upset the group don’t want to include her but still include mic who cheated . The other day me and Amy where together alone and she expressed her frustration around mic , when they are together he makes it out they are nothing and tells us she forces him to hangout and he doesn’t want to . Amy told me he acts like they are together in private I say how so do u cuddle she said yes and said they kiss too and I said what about sexual things and she said she’s been doing stuff with him for months and to not tell anyone . I couldn’t keep it from my best friend and I told her as I felt it would be wrong not too , Amy has been really trying with the group but still won’t admit to the nudes thing even though everyone knows it’s the truth and has wrote them all letters explaining how she wants to be their friends. After telling my best friend who already hates Amy she is really angry and doesn’t want to be around her at all . Was i the asshole for telling her ? Should I have kept it a secret ?
This feels so high school to me. If it’s not her boyfriend and just an ex it’s not any of her business.
We are first year college so all 16 and 17
Not even trying to be mean but that tracks.
Paragraphs, grammar and proper names would help us decide.
NTA loyalty to your bestie is more important.
So Mic is a sleaze who seems to treat all women he’s with terribly and your issue is with Amy ….
I’ve really never understood how some men get away with this type of behavior.
I have no issue with amy but the rest of the group does ! Also no other groups in the college like Amy for some unknown reason bare in mind I’m the only new one so don’t know her well
If you have no issue with her then why did you press her for personal information, then run off to tell your friend.
Amy sounds like she has a lot of problems and isn’t in a good relationship. It’s fine if you don’t want to be her friend but she didn’t volunteer that information to you, you dug for it and then ran off to tell your friend whose business it wasn’t because this is her ex.
Also it just baffles me that Mic, the villain in the story, is just out there treating women badly and no one seems to care.
How would you feel if someone you were trying to be friends with pressed you for personal information and then ran off to gossip about it not just with her other friends but the entire internet? I get Amy isn’t well liked but that isn’t an excuse for treating anyone like this.
Right? Mic cheated on OP’s friend, and somehow he’s cool to be in the group, but the girl he fooled around with isn’t?
I did not press amy for the info she told me it comfortably , I also strongly advised Amy to leave the situation as I feel she’s not being treated well by him in their fwb situation but she loves him and has said she won’t. The problem the group has is that she is being nice to everyone’s faces and putting in effort to be friends specifically with Patricia but behind her back she’s fucking her ex boyfriend and pretending she isn’t . Mic is allowed to do what he wants now he isn’t in a relashionship so that’s why the group dislikes Amy for it as she is trying to befriend us whilst doing that .
I don’t even know where to start on how just plain wrong I find your thought process and my proudest achievement in my life will be if I raise both my daughters so they do not think this way. This is so toxic to women everywhere.
Also you absolutely pressed her for the info. Your post clearly shows you doing it. The fact you made her comfortable while you dug out her private info that you then immediately gossiped about is not something to be proud of
YTA because you will run and tell P everything that A said, yet you won’t kick M out of the friends group for cheating on A. Your loyalty seems more like convenient with mean girl energy. I see why you don’t want A around, but why is M still around if he is the one who cheated and treats these guys really badly behind their backs?
So Mic cheats on Patricia, strings along Amy, and has a new GF. You and Patricia should grab the drama free friends in the group and get away from Mic and Amy, Mic because he’s the center and cause of most of this drama and Amy because your BFF probably doesn’t want to be around the person her ex was cheating on her with.
NTA but you all need to start leaving this high school style drama in the past.