My friend Kelsey has been getting on my nerves with the way she’s been acting this semester of school. Everything she’s been doing has been very entitled, and recently she’s been acting very rude any time I bring up hanging out with my roommates.
For context, my friend Gabby and I are part of two friend groups, Kelsey being in our main/larger friend group, and our smaller group consisting of me and Gabby and my 4 roommates.
Kelsey always seems to have a reputation of always getting upset when she doesn’t get what she wants, for example she often borrowed lawn chairs from our guy friends neighbors, and when the neighbors asked us to stop using the chairs for a little while since they were getting a little beaten up, Kelsey said that we can just use them anyway, then later saying that she "hates" the neighbors but couldn’t give a valid reason why (probably because they didn’t give her what she wanted)
Anytime myself or Gabby mentions hanging out with our other friends, Kelsey will text like she is annoyed or upset with us. Kelsey wanted to go out last Saturday and texted about it, and when I said I was going out to dinner for my roommate’s birthday, she responded with "bruh". I ignored it.
The day after, Sunday, was my roommate’s actual birthday, so we planned to watch a movie with her. Kelsey texted about hanging out, and I responded saying I was going to hang out with my roommate on her birthday. Kelsey responded with "didn’t you do something with her last night".
At that point I didn’t really care what I said, so I told her that expecting us to only be free to hang out with her is selfish. She responded with "bitch". I felt that I was just saying what should have been said a while ago, Kelsey has been the only person in our friend group that causes issues and they’re always related to people not giving her what she wants.
AITA for calling her selfish?
NTA. She had it coming.
NTA. Kelsey sounds like a terrible friend
NTA you didn’t post ages but y’all sound like you’re in highschool.
Seniors in college!
SENIORS??? She sounds like a petty high schooler goddamn.
NTA.
I have a question: do you want a friendship with her or not?
She clearly wants to spend time with you and she’s expressing this terribly. I wouldn’t necessarily say that’s ‘entitled’ or ‘selfish’ on her part. It actually sounds like she could be feeling left out by you and Gabby and that’s why she’s expressing herself so poorly. That doesn’t mean you should invite her to everything – it’s more than reasonable to have separate friend groups. Just might help to consider how she might be seeing things.
‘Kelsey responded with “didn’t you do something with her last night”.’
I don’t think this is an unreasonable question – I’d ask this to make conversation, personally. You could have replied something like ‘yea, yesterday was movie night, tonight we’re just chilling and celebrating’. Instead you assumed she was trying to guilt you for not hanging out with her, and went straight to calling her out. Sometimes you need a proper conversation to know where someone is coming from.
the weird thing is when I’m hanging out with her, it’s completely fine. I should also say that she has been horrible to my roommates before, calling them strangers to their faces after knowing them for 3 years. just the other day she blew my friend (birthday roommate) off at the bar. if she felt left out I think she would tell me, because my other 3 friends (her roommates) have no problems with me hanging out with my roommates. I have had conversations with her before (mostly about the fact that she needs to take no for an answer and not start screaming at people for not doing what she wants, in this case it was my bf and I not taking a shot with her). this is not a one time thing, and it does not only happen to me.
You should add this to the post. She sounds extremely selfish and honestly narcissistic.
These are much bigger issues than the things you mentioned in your post; being rude and unkind to your roommates and friends is completely unacceptable. Screaming at you is absolutely insane behaviour.
I think you have a decision to make: if she doesn’t respect your friends and boundaries, is this a friendship worth continuing?
NTA. Kelsey sounds like someone who should post here instead of
NTA, Kelsey seems terrible
NTA. But reading that post made my adult head hurt a little.
Kelsey suuuuuuuuuuucks