I (24M) live very close to my mom (66F). My mom is extremely old school. She likes to judge whoever I date. Each time I bring a girl for her to meet, my mom always has something demeaning and hurtful to say. Stuff like she has tattoos, she’s showing too much skin, or she talks too much. Every single time without fail. Eventually I just stopped introducing my dates to my mother. The last date I brought to her, my mother pulled me aside, and told me that this isn’t going to work out because her cleavage is showing. What????
My mother and I were having a conversation about it after she brought up how I like ‘bad girls’. I told my mom her ideas of women are outdated. This isn’t the 80s anymore. I guess that struck a nerve. She told me that it’s not her fault that I like nasty girls, and I shouldn’t be age shaming my own mother. I told my mom she needs to stop judging everybody. We then started arguing so I left. She made a huge deal about it and I didn’t see the problem but I struck a nerve.
AITA
Tell your mom that she will meet your next girlfriend when she becomes your fiancée and if she says anything rude about her she won’t be invited to the wedding.
This. OP, you need to learn about enmeshment and setting healthy boundaries. Once you find a woman you are serious about, you will need to have her back and support her, and not allow your mom near either of you if she is going to be nasty.
Stop bringing people over, and you can tell her her rudeness has lost her the right to meet people right now.
Nta- oh shes a boy mom alright
You are NTA.
If your mother is that outdated, she probably has other positions that we have evolved from. You should test my theory.
Bring home a large man of a different race who is wearing fetish gear. Tell your mother he is your queen.
Your mom will beg you to bring home tattooed women again.
NTA. It’s 2026, time for your mom to move into this decade with the rest of us
Maybe mum is jealous of any woman taking attention away from HER
80s?!? Oh my dear, we were so much sluttier then…
Seriously, the 70s were probably the sluttiest decade in recorded history but the 80s gave ’em some stiff competition
I seem to recall wearing microminies in the ’80s, but then again I had great legs.
Look up mother son enmeshment and see how much you identify with it…
Mother-son enmeshment involves blurred emotional boundaries, where a mother excessively depends on her son for validation, often viewing romantic partners as threats to her position. She may sabotage, criticize, or create conflict to maintain control, forcing the son to choose her over his partner.
ETA – NTA
NTA – don’t bring people home to your mom anymore, she’s not a useful part of that life.
Lol the 80s were racy as hell. You’re looking for the 50s
NTA. I was born in 1952 and her attitudes are antiquated to me. She is using her age to intimidate you. Wisdom and age are not the same thing.
NTA but you could bring home the most pious girl in the world and she would still find a problem with her. The issue isn’t the girls you’re dating, it’s your mother. Stop doing this to your girlfriends, it’s cruel. Your mom has deep seeded insecurities.