I am very good friends with the woman across the hall from me. She’s a single mom to 2 kids (2 and 6) and I help her a lot with the kids. She handles school and daycare drop off, I do pick up and extracurricular activities, dinner’s a solid 60% her, 20% me, 20% restaurants. When school and daycare are closed, I’m typically the one that stays home with them because my schedule is more flexible. I do get paid for my help with the kids but I charge her below market rate for babysitting.
The older one is out of school all week. I also have the week off so I’m mostly home with him but earlier today I had a dentist appointment so I left my sister (18) with him for 2 hours.
I left instructions saying that he needed to read for 15 minutes, could have 30 minutes of screen time, a list of things she could give him when he got hungry (things that require a slight bit of preparation but next to no skill: peanut butter sandwich, dino nuggets (with instructions), Kraft mac and cheese, etc.) with a note to give him a fruit and vegetable. I also told her to tell him that he can take the dog to the park for a chocolate bar and left some craft kits out. This should’ve been the easiest babysitting job ever.
She started texting me 10 minutes in with the most basic questions, like what is he supposed to read (there’s a shelf full of books in the living room), is he allowed to play with the toys on the table, he wants a snack, what should she give him for lunch, does she need to go to the park with him and the dog, does tv count as screen time. I told her any book is fine, she needs to go to the park with him, figure the rest out based on the instructions and common sense.
When I got back dude was an hour into a movie and my sister was upset that I basically left her to fend for herself and that just because this stuff comes easy to me, doesn’t mean it does to her.
I told her that I left her a page of instructions, toys on the table, a shelf full of books, and that she should be able to figure the rest out on her own but if she needs this much handholding, I’ll get another babysitter next time.
Now she’s mad at me because I know she needs the money and it’s not her fault that she didn’t know what to do.
Now I’m wondering if I was a little harsh because she always did need things to be spelled out for her
NTA: She’s 18 and couldn’t sit with a child for 2 hours? That’s just wild.
For me it‘s her questioning whether or not she has to accompany a freaking 6 yr old to the park that completely baffles me. Like WTF, who would ever assume that a child that young could walk to the park (with a dog) by themselves.
INFO: How much babysitting experience does your sister have, and how much time did she have to ask questions before you left her alone? For someone who’s used to watching kids, those are all pretty straightforward instructions, but not necessarily someone with zero experience.
Those are easy instructions for anyone who has ever dealt with another human being. What are you talking about? It’s a 6yo, not a baby or a toddler!
Regardless of whether your sister needs the money or not, the child needs to be well cared for. If she lacks the common sense to do a decent job, then best find someone else. NTA.
Al slop or not, I don’t believe new accounts on Reddit anymore, specially on this sub when the answer is so obvious here.
Why are you so involved with these kids?
Sub-contracting babysitting duties and acting like they are your kids.
She’s part of this woman’s village. Sometimes people can love and help others out even if they aren’t directly related to them. We call that a community.
Some people actually like helping out their neighbours and having a strong sense of community.
MTA
If she thinks a 6 yr old can go to the park by themselves, she isn’t safe to babysit. It seems like she lacks common sense, and, unfortunately, you can never leave enough instructions for someone like that.
It’s a two hour appointment. You overwhelmed her with your instructions.
A snack would have been enough. The kid didn’t need to take the dog to the park. Seriously?
Too bad about the hour video.
She was there to keep him alive.
Yeah fr. This could’ve been “He likes Toy Story and these are the things he can eat if he gets hungry” type deal. OP way overcomplicated it. One movie in a 7 day week won’t fry his brain.
I say this as someone who taught 16-19 year olds — the gen Z / gen A kids coming through have not learnt critical thinking skills. They need A LOT of handholding.
They want everything told to them exactly (sweeping brushstrokes here, of course that isn’t everyone).
If you see what teachers are saying about students coming through, there has been a sharp decline.
(One could argue it is the TikTok generation, mass media packaging everything into bite size chunks, shorter attention spans, everything fighting for their attention, but I am sure there are other factors).
Leaving a list of instructions, even explaining everything beforehand — she won’t have read them, won’t have understood them, hence all the questions. Handholding.
The question is whether you want to help her learn, so she can babysit in future. Maybe have her sit with you when you babysit, so she can see and ask questions then (as long as she is paying attention and not on her phone).
NTA. You gave clear instructions and were gone for two hours, this wasn’t an all day thing with a newborn. Asking if TV counts as screen time and whether she needs to go to the park after you said she should go is the kind of stuff she could’ve handled without blowing up your phone. It’s fine to set a boundary and say you need someone who can be a bit more independent, especially when it involves a kid’s safety. If she wants to practice, maybe next time do a short supervised session where you’re home but hands off so she can build confidence. And if she’s looking for other ways to make money, wfhalert sometimes emails verified remote jobs like customer support or basic admin, which might be more her speed.