My (37M) wife (37F) have a 4 year old boy and a 7 year old girl.
Our son is in that phase where he “prefers“ one paren right now and my wife seems to be taking it way too personally.
Its not that bad in my opinion, he still lets her do things like put him in the carseat and stuff like that, but most things he’d rather just have me do 🤷♂️.
My wife was telling me about how she was feeling about it oast weekend, saying that it Breaks her heart and all that, and I told her that it’ll end at some point. I added in ”or maybe I’m a better parent “ as a *joke* but my wife got really mad about it. She started coming at me, and I told her that she cares too much about the opinion of *children.* Abd just like that, conversation was over.
AITA? She was pissed for a good While after this happened
YTA dude. That’s a horrible comment to make. It *is* pretty normal for kids to have a preference for one parent over the other, and that changes over time, but of *course* the other parent is going to feel upset about that. You need to be compassionate and supportive – she’s your wife and you’re supposed to love her! Act like it!
YTA. Like come on, can you not empathise with her situation? Of course your wife knows this is a phase, but no doubt being rejected by your child is going to hurt. Even if you know it’s not rational. It’s very insensitive to joke about it when it’s clear your wife is upset.
YTA. ”or maybe I’m a better parent “ was clearly unnecessary, especially when she is so clearly not feeling good about this situation. You could have shown more empathy and support. Maybe try to make it up to her ? Organise a little activity for her and your son?
YTA because of the better parent joke you made. I know it was a joke to you, but it isn’t for her.
YTA. Unless she takes a back seat with parenting and is largely uninvolved. She’s come to you with her feelings and insecurities and instead of reassuring her you validated them and insulted her. Most times there’s a grain of truth in jokes.
That was really mean of you. Your wife probably knows intellectually that your kid preferring you is a phase and these things usually come and go, but still, it’s hurtful and makes her sad.
You are her person. She was being vulnerable with you and instead of hearing her, you were jerk about it. YTA.
YTA. Your wife trusted you to be a safe person she count share her hurt with. She was looking for support and understanding. You mocked her. You showed her you are not worthy of that trust.
YTA.
Parental preference is a real thing, and while you are correct that it is likely a phase, you’re being incredibly insensitive to her feelings. It IS hurtful to feel rejected by your child, even if it’s just a phase. Maybe you wouldn’t care so much if the tables were turned, but that’s more just a difference of personality.
For the record? You SHOULD care about your kids’ opinions. You shouldn’t let them run your life, of course, but saying “you care too much about the kids’ opinions” tells me your wife cares more because she literally cares more—she takes the kids seriously, wants them to be happy, worries about doing a “good job”.
YTA come on man, your wife is already feeling down and instead of just doing the kind thing and giving her support you decide to make her feel worse
YTA. that was worded so insanely poorly, it’s actually making me cringe. they’re HER CHILDREN, of course she cares about their opinions!!!
if your son’s opinion is something she is struggling with, the right conversation would be “is there something we can do to support wife and son spending more quality time together?” that does come with the understanding that he is at a point where he’ll be much more attached to one parent than the other.
Where was the joke? How was that funny to double down on something your wife was insecure about? YTA
Wow YTA. Going through this exact situation with our 2.5 year old but I’m the preferred parent. My husband was feeling really down about it and I acknowledged his feelings and told him if I was in his position I would be crushed. We made a plan to tweak our schedule so he gets more 1:1 time with our daughter.
You had an opportunity to be a good partner. All you had to do was listen and acknowledge. You failed miserably
….You’re an asshole. That joke was not funny. It’s probably very hard to have a little person you’ve birthed show favor to another and then have your husband lowkey rub in your face when you turn to them for understanding. Have some tact. That was tasteless.
YTA for your “joke”. That’s not what she needed to hear at that point. I get you’re trying to lighten the mood but that’s not the time.
Also easy for you to say ignore kids since you’re the favourite parent, but how would you feel if you were in her place.
What you should have pointed out is just because our son wants me to do things for him doesn’t mean he loves me/prefers me more. Reassure her instead of antagonizing her.
Apology is what you need to do. Preferably with a spa day gift card lol.