I’m having a conflict with my future roommates about choosing rooms for next year. It’s a 6-person house and I think myself and “Jess” should get first pick, but three of the others strongly disagree.
Some background: I currently live with half of these girls already. When we picked our current house we only spent about two days viewing places and saw five houses. Two people joined late and had to take the less desirable rooms. One (Jay) got the smallest room but she spends a lot of time at her boyfriend’s place nearby and often goes home on weekends anyway. (She is native to our university city). Ava the other one got the room next to the doorbell.
Finding next year’s house was a much longer process. Over nearly two weeks we viewed around 18–20 houses. Jess and I spent hours emailing, calling, and messaging landlords and organised the majority of the viewings. Between the other four girls, only 3/4 viewings were booked total, and two of them didn’t book any.
Ironically, the people contributing the least were also the most picky. Their preferred house was nearly an hour from university, out of budget, and very impractical (tiny kitchen, one fridge, little counter space). They liked it mostly because it looked aesthetic and had en-suites.
The house we actually signed has:
• parking + permits (we have two drivers)
• huge garden and detached house
• big kitchen with two fridges + extra fridge/freezer
• laundry room with two washing machines and a dryer
• 3 bathrooms
• 30-minute walk to both campuses
• attentive landlord
We ended up signing with 3 people loving it and 3 settling. To help convince the others, I even said I’d be open to taking the “least desirable” room (which is actually the biggest but doesn’t fit their aesthetic). Jess and I also personally negotiated the rent down with the landlord, making it the cheapest option.
When the topic of room picking came up, I suggested Jess and I should get first pick since we did the bulk of the work securing the house.
This caused a lot of backlash from Ava and Jay. Jay barely participated in the search and only attended a few viewings. Ava booked two viewings but they were rejected for the same issues as the impractical house above. Ava’s friend (who is also moving in) didn’t contribute to the search either but also argued against us getting first pick.
I messaged Jay and Ava privately explaining that first pick doesn’t automatically mean they’ll get the worst rooms, and acknowledged they had worse rooms this year. Jay responded saying she just wants it to be “fair,” and Ava didn’t respond.
Another factor is that in our current house I already do most of the shared chores and organising (buying household supplies, dealing with the landlord, arranging repairs, etc.).
So AITA for thinking that after finding the house, organising most of the viewings, spending hours contacting landlords, and negotiating the rent down, Jess and I should get first choice of rooms?
Why did you sign on again with people who think you’re their mommy??
Well, this is the kind of thing that should have been sorted out before signing a lease. Given everything, it is kind of surprising you would willingly choose to live with some of these people again. But now that you are here, time to figure it out.
One potential option is for everyone to rank their room choices. And if there are conflicting ranks, then people can “bid” on their preferred room by choosing to pay more for that privilege.
In terms of judgement, NTA for having your opinion about how the process should go, but you all need to work on either communication or decision-making skills real fast.
YTA for offering to take the less desirable room and then asking for first pick. If you hadn’t done that I would agree you have a pretty good argument for first pick having put in the legwork, but I’m sure they also feel they should have their choice of rooms due to not getting the house they wanted. Everyone will have their own perspective on the situation. You do presumably like these people enough to live with them and keep living with them so you have to decide how much you want to push it.
absolutely. You don’t make an offer to convince others to go along against what they want, then go “surprise! I did the work so I get to choose.”
Why did you sign a lease again with such whiny, entitled people?
Info: Did everyone have the same availability to view 18-20 houses in 2 weeks? Don’t really see a need for 6 people to all show up to 18-20 houses when just a few could go scouting and report back. Is your personality the take charge kind? The opinionated kind? Did others feel like their presence wouldn’t matter?
YTA, do you all split rent equally? If the answer is yes then it needs to be a group decision. Possibly a voting thing if you guys can’t work it out. Don’t like it? Move out by yourself or find different roommates.
ESH. Here’s my advice to you:
1) always discuss who gets what room BEFORE signing.
2) you can’t take on work (looking for houses) and then unilaterally decide what your reward will be after (picking room first).
3) you should not take on the household organizing if it makes you feel unappreciated. Also, don’t agree to continue living with people that take advantage of your labor if that’s how you feel.
I think they are right that it’s not a fair way to divide rooms after the fact. They are the asshole too though since they do seem to over rely on you for collective tasks.
There are many fair ways to divide rooms btw, paying less for less desirable rooms for example.
Oh I like that, people could bid higher for the rooms they want, a little auction. Whoever wants to reduce the others rent by paying more for the room they want, with the starting price being evenly split rent .
The process needs to be fair. Put 6 numbers into a hat and everyone picks one. The number is the order they can pick the rooms. 3 people don’t even like the house but still agreed to live there so I don’t think you or your friend should have the first pick. Either let those with worse rooms last time go first ( which would be fair) or everyone starts from scratch and just draws a number so it’s random.
NAH. I don’t think you are an AH for wanting the first choice of rooms, but if there is material difference in the size of the rooms. Including if any of them have an ensuite, rent should be priced accordingly.
In terms of doing “most of the shared chores”, that needs to change. It’s unfair for one person to carry the load. Have a flat meeting and agree how shared supplies and chores and going to be fairly divided and done on time.
That’s too many people to be logical. Just have everyone pick a number between 1 and 6 and roll the dice. Whoever’s number it is gets first pick (and so on). Swapping *is* allowed
Why not charge more for the desirable rooms? It shouldn’t be an even split if someone gets the master suite with an attached full bathroom with spa tub and another person gets the room under the stairs. Better yet, divide the rent equally and then start bidding on the better rooms. Equal rents were $500 each… but Sissyis willing to pay $700 for the master and Amy $600 for the 2nd nicest room, then Sarah and Gwen each get $150 knocked off their rent so they only pay $350.
YTA there is no way this is the right hill to die on before you move in with these people. You might be technically right but seriously, its not worth it. I would make sure you all do a walk through first and figure out who wants which room. There’s a real chance that there might not even be a conflict but, if there is, its flip a coin and move on.