My (F28) brother (M23) has a hyper fixation on organizing his stuff. It’s borderline obsessive and he’ll spend 10 minute everytime looking over his things and placing them back in a very exact order. The issue is he’ll leave all of his things in the communal area and people will accidentally bump into or touch his things. It’s not intentional but happens by accident.
Here’s where I might be in the wrong. When he asks if people touch his things I’ll end up getting aggressive with my tone, since he’ll shove our things aside and repeatedly ask if things have been moved. I know I should keep cool to avoid agitating the situation. I understand it might come from a place where he wants control over his life, but it becomes increasingly difficult living with him as he doesn’t communicate and locks himself in his room. He’s not opened to therapy and there’s limitations to what I can do to help, so I’m at a loss. AITA for touching his things and not necessarily respecting his boundaries?
NTA:If you live with parents lol move out ASAP! I know it’s a tough economy hey, I’ve been there, Try and find a room mate. Your brother sounds like he might have a bit of something going on as well I used to be the exact same way until therapy, People would touch my stuff even if it was in a common area i’d freak, i’m also mildly autistic and have sever ADHD and was diagnosed when I was 4. But in all honesty I just think it’s going to be tough being in a house with someone who is struggling that bad mentally, My opinion find a friend and move in with them.
That’s great – glad therapy helped! Was this something you chose to get into to help yourself?
Honestly my ex wife and I Decided I needed to be back in therapy, Long story short had a falling out with my mom and dad for like 5 years, stopped taking meds, quit therapy, replaced it with weed 24/7. I ended up going to a treatment center that helped with my mental health, best decision I ever made, ended up going back to bad habits a couple months after leaving, Got divorced, but that ended up putting me back on the right track and wouldn’t have met my amazing partner that I have today if none of this happened. Do you Live with parents?
Got it, glad you’re on a better path. We live with another sibling
dang… well looks like you might want to move in with someone else or a friend loving your family is hard when your adults and together all the time.
INFO. Do you move things if in the way in communal space, or just to move them?
A recent incident was bumping into his luggage and tripping over it. I went on with my day but he noticed it was moved a few inches (didn’t even realize it moved). However, I’ve used his things in the past but always thought it was okay since he’d use things I’ve bought
Then I would absolutely say NTA. I would let him know that anything in the communal areas may need moving, but he’s free to leave things as he likes in his space. I also suggest you look into moving out.
I agree with looking into moving out. I would also wonder if he has ever been evaluated. This sounds as if he is somewhat Neuro atypical. He might benefit from a mental health evaluation and possibly therapy. On the other hand, if it’s so important to him that things are not moved, he needs to keep them in his room. NTA.
He hasn’t been evaluated before but not sure how to bring up that conversation with him
He hates clutter and would not put things in his room so it’s two large items in the communal area and none of these things can be touched. Moving out may help me but all that passive aggression will be directed at someone else in the family.
That is there problem. If they want to tolerate it, then that is their choice. Move out. You can’t control others behavior.
He’s leaving his things in a ‘public’ area and is mad because someone touched them? That’s on him, NTA.