I(16M) am trying to be friends(platonic) with a girl(15F) that goes to the same school as me(I have since transferred to a different school, so I can’t talk with her directly) . The problem is that she doesn’t like me and thinks I’m creepy. The reason for that is that I’m aro/ace and autistic, but my way of expressing aesthetic and platonic attraction could easily be mistaken for sexual/romantic attraction. I also didn’t have a good sense of personal space when I met her, so I touched her arm thinking that was an acceptable thing to do. I have also, on multiple occasions, complimented her body, which I meant in an aesthetic way but could also be taken in a sexual way.
It’s clear that this girl, who I will refer to as "F" from here on(because her name starts with an F), thinks that I’m sexually attracted to her. I know that I probably didn’t deserve to be friends with F when I first interacted with her, but that doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t be a good friend to her now. The confusing part is that at the end of the previous school year, I approached her and tried to explain myself to her, and then asked if we could talk over email. She said yes(or so I thought), but when I emailed her, she told me that she didn’t want me to email her.
Even though F asked me not to email her, I sent a few apology emails to her, in case she would read the emails and realize that I’m not sexually attracted to her and that I have better social skills than before. I sent 4 apology emails, spaced about 2 months apart on average. I have also asked a few of my friends who do still go to that school if they know her.
Am I the asshole for being too persistent or is she the asshole for not being open to change?
YTA – she thinks you’re creepy. leave her alone. you are not owed her friendship.
Why are you trying to be friends with someone who doesn’t like you? Yes trying too hard to be someone’s friend could be interpreted as romantic interest.
Unless you already have an established relationship with someone, touching them and commenting on their body is inappropriate. And if someone tells you to stop reaching out to them, listen. You’ll only fuel resentment, anger, and discomfort if you continue pushing past people’s boundaries. YTA.
She does not want to be your friend. I think things would feel better for you once you accept that, feel the bad feelings, and then are able to move on. You deserve to be friends with people who understand you, it doesn’t seem like she does or wants to.
YTA though not really purposefully. Leave her alone darling. Your intentions might be good but she does not want to know you and you have already reached the stage of harassment.
I’m sorry it didn’t work and you may have lost a friend, but please leave her alone now. No emails, no texts, no calls, no social media posts. Put it down to experience .
Leave. Her. The fuck. Alone.
YTA. She has every right to not be your friend. She asked you not to email and you continued to email. stop it NOW.
YTA. She thinks you’re creepy because you’re being fucking creepy. She asked you to leave her alone. I bet you have boundaries you want people to respect too.
YTA. **leave her alone.**
YTA. There’s always a possibility that she’ll come around, but you have to respect the boundary that she set. You sent an apology, now the ball is in her court. Let her be.
YTA. Don’t bug her anymore. She told you she does not want you to contact her, you’ve got to respect that. It does not matter what your intention is, from her perspective you are harassing her. It is not your place to decide if you would be a good friend to her. That’s something she decides on her own and no she does not owe you an explanation or a second chance.
Also commenting on somebody’s body is rude. It does not matter if you meant it in a sexual or aesthetic way, do not comment on anybodys body without their explicit request.
From her perspective you’ve been quite a creep, commenting on her body, touching her without consent and not leaving her alone when explicitly asked. Please reflect on yourself, you can do better than that. Forget her, find some new friends and don’t repeat your mistakes
You keep doing things she’s said she doesn’t want . Talking to her, “complimenting” her, touching her, emailing her, etc:
You must leave her alone. Doesn’t matter what you intend, she’s receiving it as creepy behaviour and that’s enough for you to have to stop: immediately
YTA. Even alone for the last sentence. She’s not the asshole for having boundaries you broke. Never ever. That alone is evidence that you don’t have better social skills as you claimed. That’s the behavior of a creep
Have you considered that she isn’t interested in a platonic relationship with you? You don’t deserve to be friends with someone because you demanded to be so.
YTA touching her and making comments about her body wasn’t even as creepy as the 4 apology emails. Some people won’t like you, you can’t convert them. You probably don’t like everyone you meet either. Let it go. Ignore her completely unless she speaks to you first.