OP = M17
N = F17
For context, she has been sending me snaps of her with a vape in view occasionally, then she randomly sent that first text. As I’ve been doing this for long enough, I attempt to speak to her in order to warn her about what she has started to do. The more I spoke, it seems the more she got annoyed (understandable). She is still in the “denial phase” of the addiction, and I know exactly where she’s heading. The conversation went as follows:
N: Don’t get all high and mighty now
OP: wdym?
N: With vaping
OP: It’s not a competition 😭
OP: Quit that shit as soon as you can
OP: I’ve been doing this since 2021
OP: 5 years of constant lung damage
OP: It costs me like $3k a year
OP: Nicotine is more addictive than heroin and meth
N: I know how to stop
OP: Enlighten me 😭🙏
N: You just stop!? Like hello.
N: Also dont start acting like you care about my health👻
OP: Then do it right now then 😭
OP: Just stop while you can, I do care about your health homie, it would be cruel of me not to
OP: Kick the habit as soon as you can, I don’t know how nicotine hasn’t been made illegal yet
N: Ok
*the next morning*
OP: Just tryna look out for you 🙏
N: Yeah you’re a hypocrite
OP: How so?
*seen, no reply*
OP: I’m just trying to give you some advice. I’m just trying to look out for you yk. I’ve been doing this for so long and I can’t fucking stand it. Nicotine dependency is a medically recognised brain disorder, that shit won’t ever go away, there’s no undoing it, but it can be controlled and “muted”. I just want what’s best for you, this shit fucking sucks, and I would know. Just keep in mind what I’ve said homie 🙏
*seen 2hrs ago*
We’re not a couple or anything, strictly friends, but I’m like 99% sure she has/had(?) a crush on me. I don’t know how I should feel about this interaction.
NTA, i was 17 when i developed my nicotine addiction and i really wish someone would’ve spoken some sense into me (even someone my exact age, esp. if they had been doing it) instead of lowk acting like i was cool and different for vaping lmfao
NTA from the title alone. Good on you for trying to help your friend not make an awful mistake.
NTA times a million, everyone says they know how to stop until years have passed and their health is badly damaged. it doesn’t even take decades, a few years of it can lead to a lung collapse that could be somehwat life changing. if she’s defending vaping so bad, unfortunately she probably is in the denial stage / some stage of addiction.
NTA …but shes reacting like a typical teenager. Shes thinking “its okay for you to do it but not me.” Shes not seeing it as you trying to prevent her from a battle shes going to wish she didnt have once she realizes “just stopping” doesnt work like she thinks it will.
Dont take it personally, some people just have to learn things for themselves….I’m like that so get her position. Just apologize and tell her you understand why she called you a hypocrite. Its not worth having this affect your friendship long term.
Her body, her choice. And you really cant protect someone from themselves.
When you are at your age, you typically dont think about the potential long term consequences youll have. I never thought when I started smoking at 16 that id be in my 30’s sucking down vapes, stressing about how im going to quit so I can have a baby. Obviously, wasnt thinking about that when I was just trying to be a rebel in high school. 🙃
You should give minding your own fucking business a try. See if that helps
“I can quit any time I want” is a punchline for a reason.
NTA, but not necessarily something you should be worried about. Its sweet you want your friend to be healthy but trying to control their actions just because you don’t agree with something isn’t ok.
As someone who smokes and sometimes come across people “trying to help” I just want to roll my eyes. Its usually coming from the people who eat like crap or put no effort into a healthy life style. It feels almost offensive and hypocritical.
INFO: You’ve been vaping for 5 years (so since age 12) and you’ve been spending 3,000 a year on nicotine for the last 5 years too? So $15,000 you’ve spent since age 12 on nicotine?
Also,
> … but I’m like 99% sure she has/had(?) a crush on me…
Why is this relavent?
$15k sounds about right, I live in Australia and I think vape prices are quite high compared to everywhere else. I provided that last statement as maybe something that could provide insight into her reaction or reasoning yk?
I’m 26 with a nicotine addiction I started 10 years ago. I have tried countless times to quit. You are not in the wrong, nicotine is a horrible drug.
Practice what you preach, but NTA!
Not necessarily TA but also if it ain’t your sibling or partner it’s not really any of your business.