I’m 22 and recently finished school. My dad helped set me up with a job opportunity through one of his contacts. It pays really well, way more than what most people my age are making, and it would probably look great on my résumé. The catch is that I’d have to move pretty far away and basically start over in a place where I don’t know anyone. I’ve built a life where I am now. My friends are here, I’m doing work I actually enjoy (even if it doesn’t pay as much) and I’m generally happy with the direction my life is going. My dad thinks I’m being immature and wasting a huge opportunity. From his perspective it’s a no-brainer: good pay, stability, and connections that could help my career long term. He says I’m prioritizing comfort and fun over my future. I get where he’s coming from but I also feel like it’s my life and I should be able to choose the path that actually makes me happy, even if it’s not the most profitable one right now i believe that eventually i’ll make so much i won’t even know what to do with it. Some of my family agrees with him while my friends think I should do what feels right for me.
edit: i didn’t ask my dad for help, he totally acted on his own knowing fully well that i have a job.
ps: i live alone and my job takes care of my bills, i don’t ask my parents for anything.
NAH, but the right choice here depends on how good the opportunity is/how much potential for growth you have here vs there. Community is key, but it also can be built elsewhere and maintained long distance. Trust your gut though.
Info: Did you request help from your dad?
NAH. I was raised that you are free to make your own choices, accept your own consequences, learn your own lessons, and take on your own responsibilities.
You’re not an asshole, but you are naive and immature, and you’re going to end up being one of those sad Redditors in your 30s and 40s, bitching about not making enough money and wondering where it all went wrong.
INFO: did you ask your dad to approach his contact and secure the job opportunity for you? were you aware that your dad was approaching his contact and if so, did you tell him you weren’t looking to relocate at this time?
Are you living a financially independent life, or is your current life being subsidized in any way by your parents?
If you asked your dad, or even were aware of what he was planning to do and didn’t tell him “dad, thanks but no thanks, I’m good here” the judgement is different than if your dad just waltzed off on his own and reached out to his contact.
If you’re being subsidized by your parents – you’re living at home, they’re paying your loans, you’re really not making enough to support yourself – turning down a job that will let you be independent is different than if you’re already earning enough to pay your own way and have some savings.
Are you living with your parents? Are you paying for room and board? Are you making enough money to fully support yourself and your lifestyle? If your dad is paying for any part of your life or lifestyle, YTA.
INFO: Is the job you have now able to support your life? Do you live on your own and pay all your bills without help from your parents? If not, he’s probably trying to tell you something…
Info: Did you ask your dad for help finding a job? Or is this something he arranged on his own without your knowledge?
Based on your response to this:
NTA.
Your dad took it upon himself to try to engineer your life the way he’d like to it go.
Decades from now you may look back on this choice with regret, or you may look back on a life full of joy. There’s no way to know which way it’ll go. Either way, it’s your life to live the way you choose.
Personally I think you are making a huge mistake because you don’t want to get out of your comfort zone. Double the Yta if you live with your parents and don’t pay them anything. Sometimes we have to do things to afford living independently.
You are 22 and your vision is only looking at your current time.
I would take the job, independence, and opportunity to grow personally & professionally.
It wouldn’t hurt to try it out for 6 months or maybe a year.
As you grow up, you’ll make new friends and current friends may not be your friends in your 30s or 40s. Listen to your dad, he is not taking away anything, he is setting you up good, very fortunate. Give it a try 👍
Sorry, but YTA to yourself.
I moved across the country for a work opportunity at your age. Your age is the perfect opportunity to make a move like this in fact. That moves set me up well and I’ve actually moved several times since then to different cities throughout the country and even abroad at one point.
Best thing I’ve ever done in my life. Have met people all over the world, I have a friend network that spans all over the world. I honestly don’t regret it for a second.
**You ARE choosing safety and fun over your future.** And if this was 20 or 30 years ago I would tell you it’s no big deal.
What you don’t understand is that America has had multiple depressions in the last 20 years and it’s only going to get worse after this administration.
We do not live in the America anymore where I would tell anyone to ‘follow their dreams.’ I am telling everybody to pick financial security over all else.
**One of the best things you can do is make your money early.**
My husband and I will be able to retire at 55 because we made our money early. We even took a 6-year break where we moved to a small summer town to get away from the grind of work for a bit. But that was after we made a nice nest egg to grow. We went back to corporate world and making that money.
#You are young and have the energy now. Take the job that pays well and pushes you out of your comfort zone!
**If you are truly unhappy after a year or two, you can always move back home.**
This should be the top comment. Yes it’s important to have fun but you can have fun anywhere. Anyone middle age or older will tell you this is a great opportunity to set up your future.
You’re 22. You haven’t “built a life.”
YTA.