Our rent payment is due on 27 November, but I wanted us to pay on 22 November because I’m the one responsible for collecting and transferring the funds for the three of us to the owner. Also our lease start on 22nd, this is also advised by the agent. And I already remind them to transfer the rent money to me 1 week before 22nd. I planned to have some buffer time in case there were any delays.
The problem is, one of my flatmates wanted to pay on 25 November because her parents prefer to do a single overseas transfer for all her expenses (rent, water, electricity). I tried negotiating privately by giving an estimated amount based on my calculations, but she didn’t accept it.
So, I told the group to please transfer the money today because I wanted to pay the rent immediately, and I was worried about getting charged a penalty fee. I also mentioned that whoever caused the delay would have to cover the fee. I admit that the way I said it sounded harsh and too direct, I was already annoyed because I’ve been helping by collecting the funds so they don’t have to worry about anything.
After I said this, the girl told her parents, and her parents contacted me directly. They told me to respect their decision and asked for the agent’s number, which I gave. At one point, her mother even questioned whether the agent was bluffing or intimidating me. After going back and forth, I eventually gave in and agreed to pay on 25 November, although I still think that date is too close to the deadline.
The last message I received from her mother was a screenshot of something I said earlier (the one with rude and directive tone I mentioned earlier), sent back to me after I clarified that the agent was not bluffing or intimidating me.
Tomorrow, I plan to apologize for being harsh.
But I want to ask, Am I the asshole?
INFO – Why would there be delays? Is this something that happened before? Or is this a you problem?
NAH. FYI, when you do it like that it feels scammy. Why do you need 5 days to transfer funds? Why can’t they just pay their share directly? The second you start demanding early payments based on estimates (estimates of what???) it feels like a scam.
YTAH – why does it take 5 days? Why cant they pay landlord directly?
Why isnt a standing order just setup for payment on the 27th of each month?
Why are you the one doing the transfer for the rent? Can’t you talk with your landlord and ask to pay your portion separately? If they don’t like it, your flatmates can do it themselves, no?
YTA. It’s do no the 27th and she’ll get the money on the 25th. What exactly is the issue?
YTA. You’re not going to be late? You sound like you just want to make problems.
Honest question: why do you want to give away your money earlier than you have to?
YTA- Rent isn’t due until it is due. Was this something everyone agreed upon before moving and and deciding that you’ll be the one being responsible for collection and payment? It’s not uncommon for people to be living paycheque to paycheque, I would be stressed the Hell out if someone was telling me I *had* to pay them five days before rent is due. I can understand 24 hours before, but five days seems kind of controlling. This sounds like it could be an anxiety issue on your part.
YTA
YTA. One of my pet peeves is people who use other people’s money. Like people who demand early payment for things when it’s not necessary. There is no reason to get the money that early, unless you wanna use it for three days. The 25th should give you plenty of time. Getting it any earlier sounds dishonest and your reasoning is weak. Your roommates reasoning for giving you the money on the 25th is legit and makes a lot of sense.
YTA. 2 days ahead of time is more than enough time to deal with the payment logistics.
YTA for not giving people notice that rent is actually due earlier than it is technically due.
You can’t just wake up one morning and decide “I want the money today because I want to pay early”. Everyone else is expecting for rent not to be due for several more days.
If you want to pay early, you need to give people time and get agreement from everyone before. Rent is usually most people’s largest expense, so to wake up and demand money today when it isn’t due for several days is absurd.
ESH – You for not actually knowing when your rent is due which is evident from the comments, the roommates for not being consistent with paying at the same time every damn month, and her parents for meddling. None of y’all should be living on your own if you can’t manage this kind of stuff.
The rent is due on 27 November. That means that is the date it has to be paid by. This is the 21st century; it doesn’t take five days – or even two days – for money to travel from your bank account to the landlords. I can see why you would like the money from your flatmates earlier than that. But you could ask for that in a pleasant tone, not in a “rude and directive” tone. YTA.