My fiancée and I inherited a new vehicle after the loss of his father; a brand new, fully paid off car that was much better than either of the vehicles that we were driving at the time. After some discussion, we decided to sell my car and keep his dad’s car, since it was paid off. My car was the oldest, (a 2020 Chevy Malibu) and I had paid off roughly 90% of the loan for it – so we figured we could also get some cash in our pockets from it.
My brother found out that we were selling my car, and he was currently trying to find one for himself, so he reached out and offered to take over the payments from me.
I wasn’t fond of this idea, because my fiancée and I were hoping to get some money for the car to A) finish paying it off, and B) have some cash leftover to put toward our wedding.
After some discussion with my fiancée, we finally decided that you know what, he’s family, he’s in a tough spot, let’s meet him in the middle. I told him he could take over the payments, but that he had to find a way to pay the remainder of the loan off within the next 3 months (roughly $2,500). He was fine with that so that was the deal we made.
Flash forward to 6 months later, my brother had only made 2 of the monthly payments on time, otherwise he was letting the payments go over 30 days late, and I would have to step in and pay them for him to try to keep my credit from tanking (because the car was still in my name). He would then pay me back a couple weeks later. It was becoming a vicious cycle. We were becoming increasingly irritated with each other, and I was threatening to take the car back.
Well, he was driving to work one morning and was in a wreck that caused my car to be totaled (my brother walked away without a scratch).
Now, here is where it gets very sticky. The insurance for my car was in my parent’s name (they carried the plan and I paid them monthly for it), so the insurance payout for the car (almost $10,000) was coming in a check with my mother’s name on it. My parents for whatever reason decided that they were entitled to some of the payout, and then wanted to split the remainder between my brother and I. I failed to see how my brother was entitled to any of it, let alone my parents. A lot of arguing ensued, my brother practically disowned me, refused to speak to me in any way for weeks. In order to keep the peace, I relented and allowed my parents to take some of the payout and then split the remainder between my brother and I (I ended up only getting about $3,000. I’m not sure how much they gave my brother). Now everyone seems happy, but I’m still really irritated. Which brings me to the title, am I the asshole for wanting the entirety of my insurance payout?
EDIT: Editing to add, I’m fully aware that I never should have intermingled finances with my family.
My main issue is that my entire family to this day, still talks about how crazy it was that any one of us ever argued about the payout involved. My brother still holds it over me that he should’ve gotten more of the payout than he did. And it was making me feel CRAZY for thinking I was entitled to any of it
NTA it’s your money and you need it now
🤔 Is he going to pay you for the car he totaled? Literally have no idea how this is anyone’s money but your own. NTA obviously.
NTA
What the hell is wrong with your parents? Is your irresponsible bum brother their precious Golden Child?
Tell them you will sue them unless you get the entire pay-out.
Why didn’t you make your brother get his own insurance?
How did the insurance company insure your car in your parents’ names?
You know your credit ranking was damaged by all of those over-30-day late payments caused by your brother, don’t you?
Your parents took a hit on their insurance because they are carrying your vehicle. They should get a portion to offset. You should’ve gotten the lion’s share.
If your brother wasn’t in any way injured, he should get nothing because he wrecked the car. He should be profusely apologizing to you for both wrecking your car and missing payments. Pretty sure you’ll never go out on a limb for him again.
You are NTA. Lesson learned though, right?
I agree, the brother shouldn’t have touched anything. Not only is he incapable of making the payments on time, but he also wrecked the car.
Going forward, you pay for your own car and insurance and keep your family out of things.
They’ve just proven they are selfish and unreliable.
If you aren’t in a position to gift something, you sell it instead.
NTA but learn from this. Get your own insurance and don’t do favors for family ever again.
NTA. It was your car; your parents and brother shouldn’t get any of the reimbursement. Regardless of the name on the insurance, whoever makes the payments on the car is the one who gets the reimbursement.
Why did you give in??
Maybe this is a hot take, but you actually seem the least entitled to any of the money.
It appear like your family is probably overly comfortable with co-mingling of assets, since you and your brother are just using your parents’ insurance (you don’t state our age, but since you’re engaged I assume you aren’t a teenager), you sold the car to your brother but it stays in your name, etc. I’m not here to say whether that is a smart idea or not, but it is what leads to situations like this.
You guys all have merky shared ownership of things, so I definitely don’t see a universe where you are entitled to ALL of the insurance money.
The only case you could make is that while your brother unofficially owns the car, you OFFICIALLY own it. But by that same logic, you unofficially own the insurance, but your parents OFFICIALLY own it. So this outcome is probably the most generous outcome for you, unless I am missing something.
The moral of the story is that you should have been a grown up and had the insurance in your own name.
Soft YTA. Here’s why:
Let’s say I go to a dealership and buy a car that cost $50K. I do not have $50K so I take out a 0% loan from the International Bank of OP for $1K/mo for 50 months. My payments are $1k/mo. I made 6 payments (disregard the timeliness of these payments, they don’t strongly factor into the final verdict), so I’ve paid $6K. If that car gets wrecked, I will get a check for the remaining value of the vehicle which would be somewhere around $44K ($50K – ($1K \* 6) = $44K). However, because I took a loan out to buy this car, I first need to use that check to pay off the remaining balance on the loan. That leaves me with $6K. This is how it would work in the real world.
Now, in your scenario, your brother essentially took out a loan for the remaining balance of your payments. He then got in a wreck and totaled your car. That check would, under normal circumstances where he holds his own insurance, be issued to him. He would then need to pay you for the remaining balance of the loan. The rest, presumably, would be his.
As far as your parents go, they may also have a point. Since your car was on your parents’ car insurance, this accident will cause their future premiums to rise (or at least it could if he was at fault or you live in a no-fault state). It’s reasonable to want some of the insurance payout to cover those raised premiums for a period until the accident falls off the insurance company’s report on your parents.
I’m sorry, OP. I know it doesn’t seem fair but I think it is. It sounds like you probably had about $3K worth of payments for 6 months, so it sounds like you got what you are entitled to.
NTA for wanting it, but whether you’re entitled to it or not is another matter. The situation is so convoluted, because of the decisions that you made, that it’s really hard to judge. Your parents’ insurance premiums are going to go up because of your brother’s accident, so they should get something. The big question that I think you’re really asking is how much did your parents keep, and how much went to your brother? If you care about those answers, you should ask those questions directly.
Meanwhile, you should learn from this situation, and keep your business to yourself. Get your own insurance, don’t do sweetheart deals for your family, etc. Then you won’t have these kinds of problems in the future.
Yta for being an absolute doormat. Take this as a lesson. 1.Dont give handouts to anyone EVEN FAMILY.
2. Have all important sh*t in your own name
Why would you have the loan in your name and not the insurance anyway thats a weird one for me.
The check was in your parents name because you are using their insurance. Are you still living with your parents? If not, you should be getting car insurance under your name. If the car is in your name, then you will have to sue your parents in small claims to get the money back.