I’m a 25-year-old guy, and I finally managed to get my own small apartment after saving up for ages. I’m definitely not rolling in cash, so I have to be really strict with my budget just to keep up with rent and bills. My friends all know I’m the type of person who needs order and isn’t a fan of last-minute changes.
Recently, one of my close friends (26F) went through a breakup and has been couch-surfing. She asked if she could crash at my place ‘for a while.’ I was honest with her and said I wasn’t comfortable with that because I really value my privacy and space. She seemed okay with it at first, but then I found out she’d already told our group of friends that I was her ‘backup plan’ and she was moving in.
When I stood my ground, she flipped. She called me selfish, saying that since I live alone, it ‘wouldn’t cost me anything’ to host her. Now, I’m getting heat from mutual friends saying I should be more helpful since I’m ‘lucky’ to have my own spot.
The vibe has been so awkward lately, and she’s barely speaking to me. I do feel bad because she’s struggling, but I also feel like my boundaries are being totally ignored. Am I really the jerk for not wanting to give up my peace of mind
Let her in and you’ll never get her out and she will be living off of you. It is not free to have another person there the utilities go up it could impact your lease and it’s gonna ruin your quality of life. And by the way, she’s not really your friend if she talks about you that way. NTA
NTA. They can host her indefinitely if they are so concerned about her. Why should you pay higher utility and grocery bills?
She told people she was moving in BEFORE asking you? Imagine that level of entitlement in your home. You would have had to evict her. NTA.