So, I’m at the airport with my two small children and turns out, none of the bathrooms have changing tables in them except for the one, single bathroom labeled “Assisted Care/Family Restroom”.
I waited 10 minutes and the door was still locked and no one had come out. At this point, another person said she had already waited about 10 minutes prior to that and no one had come out. So, I knocked on the door and there was no response. I continued waiting with my infant and young toddler.
An airport employee came by and told me I could just change them on top of the sinks in the women’s bathroom, which… no. One, that’s gross for all the other people using the bathroom and two, there’s not even enough counter space between the sinks to lay a child down. Anyway, we continued waiting.
Nearly 10 more minutes passed, so now I’d been waiting for 20 minutes and the other person for 30 minutes. She finally left and gave up. I decided to knock on the door once more as my flight was about to board and the next closest bathrooms were pretty far in the opposite direction of my gate.
I finally hear the toilet flush and out comes a single man who is an airport employee from the assisted care/family bathroom. I’ll admit, I am not proud, but I lost my temper and said “seriously?! Why are you even in this bathroom?” He got defensive and started yelling who do I think I am yelling at him, etc. I just ignored him then and went into the bathroom with my kids so we could make it to the plane on time.
But, AITA here?! Is it really okay for a random, single person clearly not needing any sort of assisted care to use that bathroom for 30 full minutes when others need it and there’s no other option other than a VERY long walk back away from the gates? There was no line for the regular men’s bathroom (or the women’s for that matter. He just wanted to use the single bathroom. I likely wouldn’t have said a word if he’d been in there for 5 minutes, heck maybe even 10, but it was such a long time to wait.
Since I would have also lost my shit in this situation, I’ll say NTA.
🤦🏽♀️ Noticed the pun after hitting post. It stays.
YTA. Some people need the extra space for reasons that aren’t your business.
But the even bigger AH is the airport for not having adequate changing facilities.
Eh idk about that, OP said:
“there’s no other option other than a VERY long walk back away from the gates?”
That actually means: “there was another option but I was too lazy to walk back to the other bathroom.”
OP says they waited for at least 20 mins, but maybe a bit longer. I highly doubt the next closest bathroom was 10+ mins away each way.
After waiting 5 mins, OP likely could have walked over to the next one and been back in the same amount of time.
ESH. I’ve been on both sides of that door.
Just bc you can’t see my issues, doesn’t mean they’re not crippling. However, common courtesy would be to respond that the restroom is occupied.
Edited for typo…
Yes YTA. You don’t know if he needs the extra room or not. Not all disabilities are visible.
YTA.. you can’t assume he doesn’t need the bigger bathroom. 30 mins is insanely long and I feel the stress of needing the room with a baby and all but no need to yell At someone like that
YTAH. You have no idea why he needed that bathroom for so long. And then to yell at him? Wow.
It’s true that the airport should have more changing tables.
When my kids were little, I always carried waterproof changing pads so I could change them in a secluded corner somewhere. Airports are full of them.
I’ll give you a soft YTA just because he was an airport employee. I would be pretty frustrated because in the moment, it would be easy to assume he has access to bathrooms that the public doesn’t. However, you don’t know what options they have given him.
Yta
YTA – it is not your place to be casting judgement on who or who can’t use a disability accommodation bathroom. If you need a bathroom and it’s busy just find another one. Most parents carry a portable waterproof changing mat and can change a baby in any quiet corner. There was absolutely no reason for you to wait 30mins.
I’m going to go against the grain with a NTA. 30 minutes is way too long to take especially without even responding to people knocking. Also you mentioned in another comment that he was a plane loader so likely not disabled. I’m at least 80% sure that guy was just phone scrolling and is going to end up with hemorrhoids.
This one is difficult to judge. We, and you, have no idea what his side of the story is.
You said “*he clearly didn’t need to be using that bathroom*”. You don’t know that.
**Why the airport employee MIGHT be the asshole:**
\* IF he didn’t truly need THAT bathroom (and it’s a big “if”), he shouldn’t have been in there. Bathrooms designated for people with special needs are few in number, and it’s inconsiderate for a person to use them if they don’t really need to. I’ll grant some leeway to trans people who might otherwise find themselves in unsafe situations in single-gender bathrooms. I’ll also grant some leeway to an able-bodied person if the room is empty, there’s no disabled person in sight, and you’re in and out in two minutes or less. Anyone else, who isn’t disabled and isn’t caring for a baby or child or disabled person, can use the regular bathrooms.
\* Most people can do whatever it is they need to do in a public bathroom in much less than 30 minutes. Note that I said MOST people. Not all.
\* Being an employee doesn’t give him more rights with regard to public bathrooms than the general public. In fact, if anything, it gives him fewer rights. If the airport has staff bathrooms, he should use them. He doesn’t have the right to hog a public bathroom for 30 minutes without a spectacularly good reason.
**Why the airport employee might NOT be the asshole:**
\* Not every disability is visible. He might, for instance, have a colostomy or urostomy bag. My ex’s father had one. You really don’t want to be dealing with those things in a tiny, dimly-lit cubicle, and then emerging into the sink area where you have to clean it in full view of everyone. You want a decent amount of space, and privacy.
\* He might have some bowel complaint, such as severe constipation or explosive diarrhea, which has caused a sudden emergency requiring much longer in the bathroom than most people need. Maybe he soiled his clothes and needed to rinse and dry them under the hand dryer. (Although if this is a chronic or recurrent condition, he needs to see his doctor and get on top of it rather than inconveniencing other people who need that bathroom.)
**Why OP is the asshole:**
\* For yelling at him. Yelling accomplishes absolutely nothing, and risks escalating the situation into something very ugly and/or dangerous. If you truly believe he had no good reason to be in there for that long, or at all, then phone airport management and let them deal with the situation.
I have to give him the benefit of the doubt, so my verdict is YTA for assuming and for yelling, with a possible E-S-H if indeed he had no good reason to be there for that long.
As the parent to a special needs child, so very NTA. You barely did anything. I would have gotten his name and done a full/ formal complaint. Fuck that guy. No single person should be in that bathroom if there’s handicapped stalls in the main restrooms