I have two older sisters. I live with my older sister (Sister #2) and a roommate.
Sister #2 and Sister #1 have been talking forever about wanting to surprise Sister #1’s child, my niece, with a puppy. My niece is 10 and an only child so it would be great to give her some company.
One random day last week, Sister #2 came across a post from an friend selling her 6 month old toy poodle because the owner is moving out of our city. Within the hour, she was already discussing payments with the previous owner and talking about it with Sister #1.
I get annoyed and a bit anxious bc I have never had a pet before, so I know nothing about dogs. And also the day after the puppy comes home, Sister #2 has to go on a work trip for a week, leaving me and my roommate to take care of this puppy. It’s great for her because I’m unemployed right now due to a life-threatening medical emergency (physically unfit to perform duties). So I’m home all the time. And my roommate works. So I’m taking care of the puppy the majority of the time involuntarily.
Ever since this puppy came last Saturday, it’s been hell. First of all, I fucking hate the previous owners. They said he’s potty trained, knows commands, etc… BULLSHIT. This puppy pisses and shits everywhere. He doesn’t listen to any commands. He’s always distracted. Anxious. Can’t leave him alone for a minute without him crying or trying to eat something. On walks, he runs everywhere and jumps on people. One time his leash came off and he ran and I had to chase after him in oncoming traffic! I cant run like that in my current physical condition!! I was WINDED.
What did these previous owners do with this puppy? Clearly neglected him. Now I’m training a 6 month old how to do everything. I dont have a job rn but I had to spend my last dollars on dog training apps, food and cleaning supplies. My house fucking smells and I’m drowning everything in odor eliminators and scrubbing urine out of things. Im so tired and fucking annoyed. And the puppy is here until after Thanksgiving to go home with Sister #1 and my niece. One prob: Sister #1 goes to work in the office sometimes , would probably go to my parent’s place. My parents are old and have no energy. Their house is carpeted and there’s so much stuff everywhere. There’s no way my parents will do what I do with this dog. My sisters haven’t thought about ANYTHING long-term.
Sister #2 came back from the work trip today. I told her I decided that I am not helping her and roommate with the puppy this weekend. She gets to deal with the puppy. My family loves to inconvenience me, so it’s my turn. She gets angry with me and says I complain “so much”?! I told her that I don’t care, I’m valid. And also I’m making her pay me back for all the things I had to buy. She’s clearly still in this “honeymoon phase” when I had to do all the dirty work when she was gone.
Am I the asshole?
EDIT: Sister #1 and my niece doesn’t live in the same city as me but the plan was surprising the niece with the puppy during Thanksgiving since they’re coming to our house for the holiday.
NTA. I don’t understand why you are dealing with the puppy at all. You did not buy it. Let the others deal with it. Just stop.
Puppy deserves professional training to get a fair shot at life.
I disagree. He just needs owners who know what they are doing and CARE. This seems not the case in it’s present home.
You don’t need a professional to house train a puppy,you just need patience. Besides the dog could have been fine in the previous home but the stress of moving it regressed a bit. Very common no matter the age. These people are not equipped to care for this dog in any way.
Nta! This puppy NEEDS to be given away to a better home. It is not your fault nor the dogs; talk with your sister about it asap and if worse comes to worse, animal control.
If she knows you have a physical condition that makes it hard to care for an active animal, she should not expect you to care for it. Refuse to care for it until she steps up.
Puppies are family, not a gift. Tell her that and make it her problem; like it should be.
One thing I will say, puppy may have genuinely been decent Oly house trained with the previous owners. Having a living environment is very stressful on dogs, and most dogs one of the last parts of their body to finish developing is the bladder! So when a bit of regression from stress sets in too it’s a disaster. Puppy is very stressed.
It sucks and I’m so sorry you had to deal with that. You shouldn’t have had to. I’d recommend to your sisters to crate train. Having a small space that’s just the dogs can feel safe to the much like having a room is to us people.
Also to be clear, 10000% NTA.
NTA. Getting a puppy and then taking off for a week for someone else to take care of is pretty terrible. Has SHE ever had a dog? If she did, then she’d know that puppies are their most destructive between about 6 – 9 months. That’s why there are so many of them up for adoption in that age range.
If I were you, I wouldn’t discuss it again. Letting her have the experience you had while she was gone is comment enough. But maybe give your parents a heads up.
You did not yell about the puppy, you did yell because of inconsiderate sisters. You were perfectly right. They were very inconsiderate leaving you with an untrained puppy. Wonder how old he is?
As for the puppy, he is just a victim. He got dragged into a alien environment, knowing nobody, you not liking it, anxious to be left abandoned, not able to potty train or leash train himself. It has no notion of why he cannot poop in your livingroom but fine in the garden, etc. Have compassion. It is completely innocent and lost and having to live with your frustration.
Of course, situation has to be organized and agreed on. Otherwise do puppy a favor and find it a LOVING, CARING home. Look for nice people, do not just drop to animalshelter. Gee, the poor being. He did not choose you!!!
Feel and understand your frustration with you sisters, but that between you. Hope you can sort it out. Good luck.
It seems like when people want to adopt a pet they don’t ever think of the long term. It seems that all they see is as cute little pet. They don’t think of all the training and cleaning walking, etc. You are NTA but your sister kind of is for leaving the dog with you.
I would be telling sister 1 the problem and seeing what she says; if she doesn’t seem to care either, then you know that neither she nor sister 2 has the dog’s best interest in mind. A pet is all well, good and fun till you learn it depends on the owner for a safe, clean environment that provides proper care and training. You didn’t sign up for the dog staying, but I’m guessing because you don’t work, sister 2 is holding that over your head that if you’re staying with her, you have to help.
If sister 1 doesn’t care and sister 2 thinks she can dump a dog on you without your approval, then maybe look into moving back in with your parents. Sister 2 will then be forced to either pick up the responsibility that SHE took on or pass the dog along to a better home or possibly someone to look after it until giving it to sister 1. If you do move back in with your parents, I’d be quick to establish a no-dogs rule so you and your parents are not stuck with the dog when sister 1 has to work. She took the dog on; it’s her choice and her responsibility and better she hears that from you before giving it to her daughter because after that, rehoming it will become harder when the kid grows attached. Unfortunately some people just aren’t suitable for animals and sometimes it has to be learned the hard way like sister 2 will learn when she comes home to a house filled with piss and shit.
NTA, puppy it’s a lot of work, your sister clearly didn’t do her research, 6 mo puppy can hardly been potty trained. Puppies are like babies to some point of course, but they hate to be alone. Your sister is very irresponsible, you don’t get a dog (or any pet) without any research or knowledge about how to take care of them and just put them under someone’s else responsibility. Before me and my husband adopted a puppy we were preparing couple months for this, doing research and preparing financially. It’s not a toy, it’s a living creature that you’re responsible for.
NTA, for all the very good reasons other commenters here have listed.
And can I add one more reason why your sisters are the assholes:
**Never, never, never give a living creature as a SURPRISE gift.** Not even to your own child.
The recipient may not want a pet. You haven’t mentioned whether your niece even LIKES dogs.
The recipient may want a pet, but not THIS pet. Maybe your niece would prefer a cat, or a bird, or a hamster. Or maybe she does want a dog, but would prefer to choose her own.
The recipient may fail to bond with the pet, or vice versa.
The animal may not be what you were expecting. Exhibit A: the supposedly house-trained puppy who isn’t.
The recipient’s lifestyle may not be compatible with taking care of a pet. That would appear to be the case here. Dogs are pack animals who get stressed when alone, and are really not suited to homes that are empty all day unless the owner is prepared to drop the dog off at doggy day care. Elderly, infirm parents in a cluttered house are not suitable doggy day carers.
The recipient may have seriously underestimated the commitment required. Dogs in particular are high-maintenance animals. Cats shouldn’t be given as surprise pets either, but at least they can take care of their own exercise needs and their own toileting needs provided you keep their litter tray clean. An owner needs a very clear-eyed view of what they’re in for before they take on a dog.
Animals are sentient beings and it is not in their best interests to be given as surprise gifts or spur-of-the-moment gifts. It may even be downright cruel. Animal shelters are full of dumped pets that someone thought would be a good idea to give as a surprise, or gave in to the pleading of a child when the animal was little and cute and it soon stopped being little and cute.
Quite apart from how much all this is affecting you in time, money, and stress, your sisters are assholes for what they are doing to this poor puppy.
NTA.
There is no way a 6 month old puppy would be genuinely housebroken and solid with commands. They are simply too young; training takes time and consistency, and this puppy has had neither in its short life.
Speaking of consistency, puppies need to bond with their owners. If your sister intends to gift this puppy next week over Thanksgiving (and I agree with other commenters that you NEVER give a puppy as a gift), this dog will have four different homes in six months of life: the breeder, the old owners, yours, and your niece’s. That is a LOT of stress to inflict upon a living being, but it could be managed IF your niece and her mother really want this puppy and will take care of it properly – which does not include dumping it on you or your parents.
Any reputable breeder would not allow a puppy to be transferred/sold to new owners without their knowledge and consent. If you know who bred this dog (or can find out), you should contact the breeder and inform them of the situation.
And your sister who left on her work trip immediately after getting the dog is definitely TA.
NTA people who get animals expecting other people to care for them are the absolute worst. No one except the person who got the dog should feel like they need to take care of/spend money on the dog. My mom used to do this my whole life get dogs because she thought they were “so cute” she’d care for them for maybe a month until the “cuteness” wore off and then I had to care for them because if I didn’t the house would be a mess and the dogs would be neglected because all she’d do was fill up a giant container of food/water so they could eat whenever but not do any of the cleaning or other things dogs need to be happy😪😢 this is why I also feel like pets should NEVER Be given as gifts because who are you do decide that someone else is ready for that kind of commitment😬