Apologies is my english is bad, its my 2nd lang
So we were going out for my stepmom’s birthday. And she was drinking. And she had already had like 2 gins and a glass of wine. And she was getting drunk. Not like fully but like where your behavior starts to change. Like she was getting more chatty and annoying and that.
And I personally don’t like being around people who are like that. Like not at all. And she then asked me why I was like "ignoring" her all the time or just like not really responding to what she was doing. I then told her that I didn’t like being around people who are getting drunk at all.
Like I don’t know why but I just want to get away. Like it makes me uncomfortable and that. And when I said that, she started saying that like she’s not drunk and that even though she was obviously on her way to it.
And I then tried to correct myself by saying that I didn’t mean that she was fully like that but on her way and I just don’t like that and was starting to feel like uncomfortable/annoyed.
Then she just went off on me and my dad because she said she wasn’t and because my dad wasn’t saying anything. Then she stormed off and even when I tried to say sorry in the car, she just cut me off and said that I said what I said and that it was my choice.
I mean i understand I definitely could have worded it better but still. Thats just how i feel about stuff like that and now i feel like shit because of what i said.
Am i the asshole?
Edit: I forgot to add that after i said it and my stepmum walked off, my dad told me that what I said was wrong and that the words i used (intoxicated and drunk) have a very bad reputation and that i shouldve worded it better. This then made me realize what i did was wrong and made me feel like and asshole.
Also, idk if this will be important but i just felt i needed to include that im 15
Edit 2: To all thos saying i am trying to police her behavior, i am not. She can drink as much as she want, i resoectfully do not care, that’s her choice. All im saying is that i dont want to be around when she does. And its not just with her, its with anybody who drinks. I do not want to be around when they do it because, and i do not know why, but it makes me extremely uncomfortable. Call it trauma i cant remember, call it me just being a bitchy teenager, i dont know. I just don’t like it at all. But i still understand what yall are saying so thank you
Edit 3: Sorry i keep forgetting and remembering stuff to add. But this is also not the first time it has happended. The most recent one is where she and my dad were going to a function at her work and she got drunk. They then went to KFC to get my some food for supper and while they were there, she kept using my dads phone to send me voice messages of her saying random stuff while also calling me for no reason other to annoy me
Edit 4: To those saying i shouldve stayed home or anything in that direction, i wouldve if i could. We had already gone out for the day to a farmers market and bought a bunch of stuff for her and that so i thought that i can stay home, especially because i had already eaten a lot before so wasnt hungry and i was tired from not getting good sleep the past couple of days. But my dad told me to come with because itll make her happy so i had to comply
Edit 5: Sorry for all these edits but i just wanted to add some more context that i forgot to say but said to a comment so im just going to paste it here.
She didnt offend me, but she was like complaining that me and my dad were silent and not speaking and that. But me and him just don’t talk much. Like not trying to "improve" our case (sorry idk how else to say it) but she and mt dad have been together for like 5 gears and weve been living together for like 3 or 4 so she knows that we are like that
She was also like scratching my cheek, slapping/tapping my arm, that type of stuff which i really dont like. Like i dont like it when people touch me unnecessarily and it irritates me and that
That chatty part was like she kept going around to the other people in the resturant who’s bday it was and like talking with them and that. You can call that just being social but it just doesnt make sense in my mind to do that. She was also like telling the waiters and that its not fair that the kids who’s bdays it was were sang for (it was their family and like one staff member) and that they got a candle and she didnt, etc.
Edit 6: These edits are getting out of hand but its the same as the last one
(The commentor was asking if I potentially know why it makes me feel like that)
I dont know to be completely honest. Like it just makes me extremely uncomfortable and that. Like it just want to get away from it.
I just had a thought but it may be because my whole family has basically told me that if i ever get drunk or anything like that when im still young then theyll be extremely disappointed in me and that i musnt ruin my future and stuff like that. So maybe its like a fear of making that become true so I just want to get as far from it as possible?
Idk
YTA, it was her birthday, chill tf oout
You tried to police a grown adult’s behaviour for having 3 drinks at their own birthday celebration?
Yeah, YTA. If she had been doing something that was actually problematic then you might have had a point, but the fact that her being tipsy in your general vicinity makes you feel uncomfortable is your issue to manage, not hers.
YTA
>Thats just how i feel about stuff like that
Have your feelings; be uncomfortable if you want. Keep your feelings and your discomfort to yourself. Learn to embrace unexpressed thoughts.
YTA I’m someone who doesn’t drink and am always advocating for my family members to stop or drink less because of their health issues. Giving your stepmom the silent treatment and then chastising her for drinking at her birthday dinner is RUDE.
It’s a slippery slope it was her birthday so she’s allowed to drink on her birthday, but that being said it made you uncomfortable being around her you shouldn’t be forced to be around someone who is drinking if you don’t want to be
But yes, YTA because you probably could have said it better. I hope things get better as tensions calm down.
When everything calms down, you should have a sitdown conversation with her, or you can hash things out and hopefully come to an understanding
YTA. Wow, a grown adult has 3 drinks on her birthday and you start passing judgement. Next time, just stay at home and let her enjoy herself.
YTA. I don’t know why you’re so uptight at 15 but there was no need to call her out on it. God for bid she let loose on her birthday. You didn’t even describe horrible behavior just something that you have an issue with.
YTA – dont police other people’s behaviours. “She became chatty” so you started getting annoyed and caused an argument. You should be ashamed of yourself.
Gentle YTA. I get it. When I was your age I hated that shit, too. However, there is nothing wrong about a non alcoholic getting buzzed or drunk. That is their adult choice and they shouldn’t be shamed for it. Its her birthday for goodness sake, if she wants to drink and she isn’t hurting anyone, let her have fun. You may need to evaluate why it bothers you so much ( it bothered me because I had an alcoholic mother and I knew drunk equaled abuse later, but that doesn’t sound like your situation)
YTA. Not sure why you think you can police this adult’s actions.
YTA and a party pooper at that!
YTA. Are you a prude ? It’s her birthday. Don’t be around half your family at Christmas or any event then.
Get over yourself.
YTA your generation has a serious problem with misapplying words to situations. Tipsy and chatty isn’t drunk no matter what your filter bubble has told you
YTA
1) It’s HER celebration. She’s allowed to have a few drinks without a literal child thinking it’s their place to police her.
2) “chatty & annoying” so you only cared because you hot annoyed? That’s seriously petty.
She’s a grown a** adult. If she wants to let loose a bit at HER party then she’s well within her right. She wasn’t driving & wasn’t a danger to anyone.