I(26yr/fm) and my husband(30yr/m) we both got married in Asia since I’m an Asian (but I moved to the U.S. since I was little). We all flew back to my hometown for our wedding including my husband mom and dad. When we got there the first thing I did is to try on my wedding 1 last time before the actual wedding and of course I invited his parents. I had 2 dresses (1 my traditional wedding dress from my country and 1 white regular wedding dress). My traditional was so beautiful that my MIL wants to wear it. She asked if there’s anything like that for her to wear and everyone said “this’s a bridal shop. It’s for the bride and the groom” after I tried all of my dresses; on the way back home she kept saying the same thing not only 1 time but she kept saying for 4 days!!! So I was like “okay let’s take her back and show her there’s nothing for her to wear” but I didn’t go with them. 2-3 hrs I got a call from my mom she told me that my MIL got her dress. Guess what color?! It’s white!! Not only that the original dress doesn’t have a sash to go with it but she force them to put the sash on her dress. She told me later she wanted the sash to covered her belly. I wasn’t mad that it’s white but I’m mad that she kept saying “ I’m sorry I can wear the dress that I brought from home” even when we got back to the U.S. she still tried to bring it up about the dress again. I was not upset that it’s white or it’s like my traditional dress like mine but I was upset because she said sorry after what she got and didn’t listen to anyone. To me when people have done something like that it’s fake and I can’t find any sincerity with those kind of people.
\* I don’t even want to save my wedding photo any picture that has her in it..
You haven’t asked a question, try r/vent
I’m afraid this will only get worse, OP. Your husband needs to set some boundaries with his mother. NTA.
I talked to him about it as well but i guess he knew her more than me.
I mean, your mom was with her when MIL chose the dress. Surely your mom could have conveyed that this was not ok culturally. It’s not clear that MIL was aware she was committing an offense if everyone was too polite to say so. Regardless, you had a chance to stop this and chose not to, so yeah it’s absurd for you to be mad at her for the insincerity you also displayed. yTA.
We all tried to stop her even the shop owner but we couldn’t convince her until she got what she wanted. I told my mom to take her there to let her see that there’s nothing for her to wear it’s all for the bride but she still found something for herself.
One thing – where is your fiancee in all this mess with his mom? Like he is the one who should react and talk with her. He should be the one to tell her that or she respects and dont put this dress on for the wedding, or she stays at home. Its his job. Not yours, not your moms etc
Photoshop is a beautiful thing. You can edit her out of change the color of her dress in the photos to whatever color you like. You husband needs to talk to her about boundaries though
A woman in a similar situation had a lot of luck on one of the photoshop subs, I think it was r/photoshoprequest.
Did any of you explicitly say “this is inappropriate unless you are the bride”?
I totally get what you’re saying. Maybe she really don’t understand what is the bridal shop is for the bride mean.. I’m Asian that’s one problem about me I have a trouble saying things straight forward. That’s one main thing I have to learn.
Unless you have other reasons to distrust this woman, I think you’d be best served to give her the benefit of the doubt – while also being more clear in the future, and explicitly saying NO when that’s what you mean
I think this isn’t really a post for AITA – it’s really something for r/justnomil
Ok. And?