My husband and I were in our car where we drove down to the local custard place. It’s relatively popular, more so in the summer of course, but even in winter in this tourist town it still does decent business. There were only 3 people eating ice cream all in their cars/trucks as it was too cold to be outside.
We don’t like to bring our trash home, so we get out of the car and throw the empty cups into the trash cans outside the shop. As soon as my husband got back from doing that I saw a boy – around 9-10 ish get out of his truck in the back seat with his cup and some napkins and a spoon. He was three spots away from us and he proceeded to go to side of the parking lot where there is a bit of grass and a ditch for water runoff and threw the trash in there instead of walking maybe the 30-40 feet to the trash cans.
I immediately got upset and opened my car door and told him he shouldn’t do that and to pick it up. He just went back to his truck. We are about to leave when the mom who was in the passenger seat gets out and goes to the side of our car and tells me I can not yell at her son. I don’t think I yelled, but I was loud enough for him to hear. She said I made him cry. I could not see the kid at this point so really don’t know if he was crying or not. I said he should not litter and she said I should mind my own business and that I must get off at yelling at young kids.
My husband then drove away. He was embarrassed as he hates confrontation. He said I was in the right but when I told a friend of mine she said I should not try to parent other people’s kids and I was in the wrong. AITA here? I hate littering, but maybe the kid had other issues and I shouldn’t judge so quickly. My husband said a reason not to speak up is because of the parents – you never know how they will respond and he is right about that.
NTAH if no one ever speaks up when people do wrong then what good is morality?
I understand that some people avoid conflict like the plague. I am not trying to insist that everyone has to stand up and do something, but the least your husband could do is get out of the way and not criticize you for doing the right thing.
Licensing and education are not required to be a parent, and some people suck at it. That mom was not doing her job, you were doing yours as a community member. It sounds like you were doing it a calm and appropriate manner as well.
NTA. The kid litters because the parent litters, and if the parent is upset that the kid was called out, the parent can correct the kids behaviour.
There’s a difference between parenting someone else’s kid and calling someone out, even a minor, when they are actively breaking the law and affecting your environment. If we give the kid a pass because they are a minor, then we don’t give the parent a pass. Again… a kid might just do that, but only if they were taught that it was ok.
Your husband is not wrong about the safety aspects of this, but that doesn’t really play into the moral judgement of the action. The safety aspect just means you’d be ok not saying anything, not that you’re morally out of line if you call it out.
NTA. Tell her you’ll just report it to the police instead and she can pay the fine.
NTA.
Public littering is everyone’s business.
NTA, quite the opposite. 👏👏
NTA. The mom should teach her kid not to litter so strangers won’t yell at him.
NTA. We live in a society. I wouldn’t have tried telling a strange kid they had to pick up their litter, only because it’s wildly embarrassing to be disrespected by a child, but telling him not to litter is just a way of enforcing social norms.
Definitely NTA. We are all part of a community and that entails helping each other teach right from wrong on these principles that are universally agreed upon (ie littering). If my kids ever did that and I wasn’t paying attention, I would be THANKFUL that somebody called them out on their nonsense. I certainly do it to other people’s kids when I see them being idiots. I’m not shy. How else will they learn if nobody ever says anything?
And yes, I’ve made kids cry. But guess what? Next time I saw them, they WERE better. Sometimes a little tough love is good for ’em.
NTA – People need to be called out for littering.
NTA. I have three kids, including one with autism. I do my best to teach them what’s right and wrong. But sometimes the best way to learn is to experience the social consequences.
*If you’re mean to people, they don’t want to play with you*
*If you’re too loud, people will ask you to be quiet*
*If you litter, strangers might shout at you and that will be scary*
It’s not parenting other people’s children. It’s providing a social consequence to a behavior that’s harmful to the shared environment.
NTA. The kid was littering.
In accordance to the mother, you should “mind your own business.” Well, she got her wish. Littering is everyone’s business and you were minding your business.
NTA. Kid does have other issues. His parents.
NTA and the parent is lucky for it too, because many would have had words for her feedback…
NTA – it’s very odd to me when people who refuse to parent or teach their children right from wrong get upset at other adults who do.