My sister is coming to visit from the southern hemisphere. She will be in London for a full weekend and one week ago I let her know it was gonna be very cold (0 degrees)
I even sent her a screenshot of the weather forecast, and put a picture picture on Instagram when it was snowing and she reacted to it
She has just messaged the Whatsapp family group saying she is only bringing a trenchcoat.
This obviously means she thinks I’m gonna lent her stuff. I am generally very generous with lending my things. But my coats are really expensive garments and it will make me nervous to know that she is using them to eat in markets and go around London. I take extremely good care of them.
I am considering going to TK Maxx and buying a cheap coat so I can lend her something and half peace of mind.
AITA?
NTA, sounds like a good approach. Have a loaner on hand.
No thrift shops where you live?
That actually sounds like a pretty good idea if you can afford it.
INFO – what’s the winter daytime minimum temperature where she lives? Because there’s ‘southern hemisphere’ as in Falklands, and there’s ‘southern hemisphere’ as in Australia. It’s entirely possibly she’s not bringing a coat that can take a UK winter because she doesn’t have one.
>I am considering going to TK Maxx and buying a cheap coat so I can lend her something and half peace of mind.
I think the two sensible options were either to buy her a coat or indeed just tell her to buy herself a coat, so I think you’re well on the generous side there.
If I were a visitor going somewhere much colder than home I don’t think I’d want the responsibility of using your really expensive stuff, I’d just want to be warm enough.
In total there are really NAH – she hasn’t done anything wrong (certainly not yet, anyway) and what you’re proposing is positively friendly. Do it, IMO.
I just wouldn’t mention that you bought her a cheap coat because you don’t trust her with yours, I’d just be more *”Hey, I bought you a coat of your own so you don’t freeze!”* and leave it at that.
NTA
Cheap coat is the way to go.
TK Maxx?
Hun, go Primark or Georgia T’Asda at best.
Or, Vinted.
NTA.
NTA, but you don’t need to buy her something preemptively. I think you are assuming that she is going to ask to borrow your stuff, but maybe she is bringing a lot of layers and that’s why she thinks a trench will be fine. If she doesn’t need a coat where she lives, then she probably doesn’t have one to bring even if she wanted to. I wouldn’t say a word about it.
When she arrives, if she is too cold and then asks to borrow your coat, just tell her the truth. You aren’t comfortable with that because these are expensive coats that you are very particular about and don’t lend out but you know places to get an inexpensive coat and you are happy to take her there right away.
I’m not sure why you feel like that is a big deal at all or why you are even stressing about this. If the problem is you have a hard time saying no to your sister, well then you can use this as practice to get better at it because you shouldn’t be scared to say no when you aren’t comfortable with something like this. If she gets mad about this, that is really her problem, not yours. You told her the weather was going to be cold and you don’t have to lend her your things.
I live in a warm area but long ago lived in the cold. My “winter” coat wouldn’t do anything for me in the north. And choices for something to wear are limited here because no one needs a heavy coat. She probably doesn’t own anything warmer than her trench coat and either needs to borrow, buy, or heavily layer.
She’s your sister—is she really that messy? Lend her a coat or buy one you will wear after she leaves.
Get the ugliest coat to loan her and let her know that it’s this option or she can bring her own.
NTA but instead of buying a cheap loaner, take her shopping when she gets there. She can buy her own coat
NTA but tell her that she needs a coat and that you won’t lend her one. Do people not talk to each other anymore?
I would go to a thrift store and get the coat from there.
NTA. Put away all your expensive coats except the one you wear regularly. Go to a thrift shop and buy a warm coat that will fit her but is inexpensive. If she asks to borrow one, offer her that one. Act like that’s her only option aside from the coat she brought. She doesn’t need to know that’s not your coat.
Worst case scenario, you have a work coat to wear around when you might get a nicer coat dirty.
If she is an adult let her buy her own coat when she decides she is cold enough. Tell her no when she asks to borrow yours