My son (early 20s) works at the same company I do. He’s been on my health insurance plan since birth and will continue until he’s 26. My cost is around $450/month for myself and 1 dependent. Because he doesn’t have his own policy through work, the company will send a check for $6500 (less taxes) each July 1st- this applies to all employees who don’t use the company’s insurance.
Also important- he lives with me and pays only for his car and, as of last month, his car insurance. I buy food, pay the mortgage and utilities, his cell phone, etc. This was agreed to so he can save money for his education and future housing.
I told him that the check belongs to me, although I’ll be happy to give him $1000 from it. The only reason he’ll be receiving anything is that I’m paying for his healthcare, which he couldn’t afford on his own. Obviously, he’s not happy and says that he’s keeping the entire amount.
I did approach this topic calmly and politely, but I’m rather irritated and it will need to be revisited. AITA?
YTA. That’s his fringe benefits check for not signing up the company insurance policy.
You are choosing to still cover him under your insurance policy. If you don’t like it, drop him.
Your son has a full time job with benefits now. Why not just let him pick up his own insurance? If he worked somewhere without a reimbursement, would you have him pay you?
You’ve said your cost is $450 a month yet after taxes the check will cover that annual cost almost entirely. You’re effectively asking him to pay for both your and his insurance. YTA. He should only have to cover a his share of the health insurance, if anything.
Most parents allow their children to stay on their plans without billing them, but I won’t judge you on that one cuz different strokes.
YTA. Your whole insurance cost is $5400 to cover *both of you*, but you want to charge him $5500 for just his coverage. You essentially want him to pay for your health insurance.
If you want to charge him rent or for the car, fine, do that. But your current agreement is that he doesn’t pay for that.
YTA. You pay $450/month x 12 months =$5,400 for the year to cover both of you. Why should MORE than the premium you’re paying for the both of you?!
It would maybe be fair for you to charge him the difference between insuring yourself and insuring the two of you. That would be less than $2,700 I’d expect, but that’s really the upper limit on what’s reasonable to ask from him.
And why should the son get $6,500, simply due to not having insurance. When he actually does have insurance paid for by his mother? He did nothing to deserve that money.
He gets the money for saving the company that much money.
He doesn’t get the money in exchange for being uninsured, he gets the money in lieu of the benefit.
Probably the majority of their staff that gets the $6,500 is insured, by their parents, or a spouse’s work plan, or medicaid or medicare.
As an example, I’m in my husband’s plan. If he alone is on the plan, he would only pay like $100/month, and the company picks up the rest of the cost of premiums. When he adds me to the plan, my part is like $350/month, because they aren’t subsidizing my insurance, just my husband’s.
So it costs OP’s business $6,500 per employee who is on their plan. Of the $450/month she pays, it’s probably 1/5th-1/4rd her portion and the rest is for her son (though she should go look up the exact difference).
The company is either paying $6,500 to the insurance company, or to their employee, that way “total compensation” is fair to all employees. They all cost the company the same amount of money.
In this case it would be more than fair for OP to look up how much the extra dependent costs her, and ask for that amount from her son… but that also should have been something that was discussed BEFORE they agreed to the plan where he was still on her insurance when he started working there. He may well have preferred to get his own policy, because again, if it’s like my husband’s, the son would pay less per year having his premiums subsidized by the company, than taking the pay out and paying back his mother.
They both should have looked at the math and made the best choice for both of them.
ESH
YTA- The check does not belong to you. While I think it’s fair he gives you a portion. You demanding the whole thing is unreasonable. There’s plenty of room for you two to come to a compromise or an agreement. But you aren’t entitled to it.
>I told him that the check belongs to me
It absolutely does not belong to you. The check is made out to your son. It’s his money. YTA.
ESH. It’s his check, not yours. However, you’re covering so many of his expenses that he probably benefits by more than the $6500. Take him off your insurance and let him pay for his own. Have him start paying for his cell phone and a modest amount of rent. Then he will realize how good he had it.
NTA and those saying otherwise are being selfish and entitled (pretty typical for this sub)
The $6500 is for him to get his own health insurance. You are currently paying for his health insurance. Tell him he has 2 choices:
1. Pay you what his plan costs you
2. Find his own plan and stop leeching off of you
It’s very simple. Just remove him from your plan. He’s employed and his employer offers health insurance. You no longer need to cover an adult child under your policy. This is a problem you’ve created.
Yep but too bad they can’t split it or something. It’s a waste for both to “pay” the $6500.
YTA. Unfortunately, that check very clearly does NOT belong to you. It has his name on it and if you want to get technical, it’s a form of income from his employment. Probably a portion of the money saved by the company for not having him enrolled in their insurance program. His enrollment on your insurance is irrelevant.
The adult way to go about this would be to make a deal with him for a portion of the money, not claiming it’s yours and throwing him a pittance. If you need a portion of it to cover bills and expenses, then explain how it would be in both of your best interest to share that check. If he refuses to entertain that idea, then you’re well within your right to tell him that he can enroll during the next open enrollment period. That way he has to pay his own way and you get to save money on your monthly premium. Problem solved.