This text pretty much sums up what happened: i’m so scared and worried and the last thing i want to do is lose you. even just one day of you being mad at me and not talking to you and i feel so bad. it shouldn’t have taken me breaking up with you and realizing that’s not what i actually want to see how much i need you. you did so much for me and I just couldn’t see the big picture and i didn’t want to hurt you but I also just didn’t know what to do. I miss you abbi and i know it’s so soon but i don’t want to lose you, i was worried about our future together cause i’ve never had anything this serious and it just felt scary and i just didn’t want to get hurt later. BUt i realize it really doesn’t matter later it just matters right now and you’re the person that was keeping me pushing and i just failed to fully acknowledge that. Like the past months i’ve been dating you everything’s just felt so ethereal and just nothing felt right and i couldn’t find the cause and I don’t know why i eventually thought it could have been our relationship, cause after all you’re the reason I am still here and wanted to get through the super hard times. I’m just scared of losing you abbi and I know you need space but I just want to know that you’re not gone forever. You mean so much to me and every little thing you did just made me so happy. And I know it was so early but I was scared cause I was imagining a long future with you and growing up and going through college together and it just seemed so unfesable and I don’t know why. I really do love you Abbi, ever since I met you I knew you were special. The night you drove me in your car and we dropped colton off on halloween night, and I was panicking and scared and I said I loved you, I couldn’t have meant it any more and I always thought I would never be sure, but I knew i loved you. I understand why you’re upset and where you’re mad I just want to know i won’t lose you forever, cause that I realize scares me more than the future, or anything else i’ve ever struggled with.