So for my birthday my bf got me a switch 2. The problem that makes me think I may be an asshole is that when the switch 2 was released, I said that I didn’t like the magnetic controllers and the screen was a lot bigger than i would need, i told him i would probably never buy a switch 2 until my TOTK oled crapped out(I bought it in feb of 2025)
My bf said he thought the controllers were cool and that he wanted to get a switch 2 but maybe a few months/year after it was released so that bugs could be manufactured out of the 1edition.
My bf had a 1st gen switch thats battery could only last for maybe 2 hours without being plugged in and even if the switch was plugged it would only hold the battery percentage, not charge it if he was actively playing a game, making co op gaming difficult for us because we would have to stop every few hours.
So for Christmas I got him a switch 2, although he wanted to wait for the bugs to be fixed and for issues to be found and solved, I bought him one so that we could co op and he could actually play fortnite and apex on a handheld plus since it was a gift and no money out of his pocket i emphasized that if he wants to get a new updated one in a few years that he could buy one and my feelings wouldnt be hurt because he’s right, they’ll find bugs and they’ll need to be fixed.
Then 2 months passed and it’s now my bday and I open a gift and bam, it’s a switch 2. I tried to feign excitement but I couldn’t hide the fact that I was disappointed
There are several things that bummed me out.
1 I told him I did not want one
2 i don’t need one, my Zelda oled is a year old and has no issues
3 For about 2 years now I have been wanting a drawing tablet. I have voiced it many times and showed him the exact tablet I want many times.
Now I want to say I am self aware I do realize I bought him a switch 2 after he said he didn’t want one but the 1gen switch he had was such a tired device that I figured the switch 2 was a complete upgrade in both size and battery life which was the biggest issue
Whereas to me the switch 2 compared to my oled is only bigger with different controllers two things I said I didn’t want.
When I tried my best to voice my dislike of the gift by saying that I have told him in the past that I did not want a switch 2, he immediately snapped back saying i told you I didn’t want one either and you still got me one
I guess I’m wanting to ask am I the asshole because I feel like I wasn’t seen or heard involving my birthday gift. Me and my bf have been together for 6 years and I have never felt as ignored with a gift as I do now.
I haven’t even taken the switch out of the box yet because I would love to return it but that is such an asshole move.
I’m not upset because I didn’t get a drawing tablet I’m upset because he got me something I didn’t want
I would just like a different view on things because I feel like I’m being an asshole but that I was also ignored? I don’t even know anymore, am I the asshole?
You literally did the exact thing you’re upset he did. Exact! YTA.
Question: is the price of a drawing table similar to the switch 2? I’d go with NTA based on what you’ve said. Your bf simply didn’t listen to what you wanted.
You need to have a polite conversation with him, that you’d like to exchange it. If you’re not mature/secure enough in the relationship to have one then perhaps you’re not mature enough for the relationship.
NTA he straight up bought you the thing you explicitly said you didn’t want, and it kinda sounds like he just wanted a second one for co-op.
And she bought him the thing he explicitly said he didn’t want.
They each had conditions they wanted met before they bought the switch 2. She bought it for him based on her condition being met (current device being worn out) rather than based on his condition being met (the bugs aren’t yet worked out from the new release).
Now they both have a switch 2 that isn’t what they want. They both suck.
You both are in the wrong on this. You knew he didn’t want one for a few more years. He knew you didn’t want one. So you both messed up. So best thing to do is ask him if he would be okay with you returning it and putting the money towards the drawing tablet and then learn how to better communicate with each other.
First world problem
Hm, I’m a little torn here. Yea you did as similar thing to your boyfriend. But there is difference between saying “That’s cool but it’s not worth my money *right now*” and “I don’t want that.” Especially regarding something like bugs and glitches, which are all improvable software issues.
Did your boyfriend explicitly say he didn’t want it? Or did he say that he wasn’t willing to buy it? Right now I would say NTA. I think he perhaps could’ve been more considerate (and you can feel free to communicate that to him in a healthy manner) but that doesn’t make him an asshole. Imo there is nothing wrong with saying, “I appreciate the act of the gift but I am not inclined to use it. If that bothers you, you can return it and get your money back.” Maybe in a less sterile HR kind of way. But you get the gist.
ESH and here’s why:
You set the precedent that ignoring a partners stated wishes was acceptable in any situation based on personal perspective. However, what he did was clearly retalitory and unkind.
Your thought was well intentioned. However, impact over intent. You ultimately ignored his personal preference,(which is your offense here). That being said.. You felt because of the poor battery life on his switch, there was UTILITY in getting him a new one to avoid having to shut down your gaming sessions prematurely. You just wanted to improve his gaming experience, and your ability to game together.
He intentionally got you a switch as well because you didn’t get him a gift he actually wanted. Because there is clearly no justification in getting you the new one when 1.It was against your preference. And 2. There was clearly no utility in that decision since your switch was essentially new and not facing any hardware/software issues.
I think what this comes down to is poor communication. Not on speaking, but listening. You didn’t listen to his clear voicing of “I don’t want this until x y z”. And he didn’t listen to yours either.
However, I will say its a red flag worth watching that he made a decision specifically to retaliate against you and hurt your feelings. Because while you made a poor lapse of judgement, it was not done in malice. His was.
So basically what I just read is: he didn’t want a switch 2 but you brought him one anyway. You didn’t want a switch 2 and he brought you one anyways. You now feel ‘unheard’ and are upset, even though it was YOU who first ignored his wishes??? Yeah, YTA. Why is it ok for you to ignore his wants but not ok for him to ignore yours??
Return it! It doesn’t make you an AH to return a gift you didn’t want.
I see both sides here – your bf *did* actually want the Switch 2, just *not yet*. You didn’t want it at all, so it makes it a little different – but I see why his argument was ‘you didn’t listen to me either’. However, if he got you a gift you didn’t want out of spite *because* you bought him one too, that’d be pretty shitty.
How old are you both? You’ve been together 6 years but don’t live together?
You both have terrible listening skills.
You got him something he said he didn’t want? He got you something you said you didn’t want? So you’re both actually pouty children?
ESH