My three friends (lets say their names F, E, and Y) and I are super excited to go to an island in the caribbean over easter break (where F is from.) We’re all from different countries and will be graduating/leaving school (E and Y are doing exchange year) next year and are excited to visit F’s home and have fun.
E and Y are friends (me and F are friendly classmates with her at most) with another girl named K (same age, but significantly a lot less mature–we’ve all discussed this. examples include having a meltdown over getting a new ipad from her parents that was too large despite having a fully functioning ipad, she brags about chartering a helicopter so she doesn’t have to fly in a commerical plane, and she was friends with a girl who got expelled for drug problems and they related on having rich parents who let them do whatever they want.) and they’re going to her house in Miami over spring break (two weeks before our trip) since they can’t stay with me or F.
They were worried she would feel left out and we planned to tell her so she wouldn’t find out and feel betrayed and not let E and Y go to Miami, since they think she would do that if she’d upset, but they really need to go to Miami with her because they don’t have anywhere else to go. We told her last night and she was initially like "okay" but then messaged them pages and pages of texts and voice memos saying how she was so upset and how she doesn’t like me because she thinks I look down on her (despite the fact that we’ve had almost no interactions). E tried to pin the blame on us and make excuses that it was because "the island was cooler" and K is hung up on that. K feels like a "second choice" and fought with Y and E over this.
I personally don’t understand her perspective since it’s F’s house and we all think that she’s too immature to come with us, and 5 is a lot for a solo trip. Additionally, E and Y are spending 7 days with her in Miami and only 6 with F and I so I don’t get the argument that E and Y are picking me and F over her. We like her as a person, we just think five people is too many for a trip of this nature and keep in mind that she ACTS YOUNG (and this could be dangerous as we’re all girls who are in school).
Edit: clarifications
YTA – Not about the invite, do what you want. But be real: you do look down on K. She’s not wrong. Plus, it sounds like you’ve all had conversations about her behind her back. She probably senses that too.
You have a lot of opinions about a girl with whom you say you’ve had almost no interactions.
INFO: Is F friends with K?
no, F and I are friendly classmates with her at most.
This is a confusing read, but it seems like you’re all excluding her because she’s immature? But you , or your friends, need a place to stay in Miami, so you’re keeping her close enough to have a place to stay. If that’s the case, then yeah, yta.
(first time posting on AITA so not sure if I can reply) E and Y are truly friends with K and they want to spend time with her. We didn’t exclude her from the island intentionally, but we just weren’t thinking of anyone us when us four planned it.
It’s F’s house, and you said (in a later comment) that F and K are not friends.
No one other than F can invite her, and F chose not to do so.
That’s really the end of it.
NTA.
Yeah this isn’t even OPs problem. She’s not hosting. Shs not friends with this girl. And she’s not trying to go to Miami.
This is the problem of the people who are actually her friends.
As an aside,the idea that she’s entitled to be invited is super childish. My college friend froup was 10 people. Some times just 3-5 will go on a trip. Never been a problem for us.
You’re all immature and honestly k sounds like the only mature one. Not only are you, f, e and y immature, you’re users and mean girls. I hope k finds true decent friends.
So, you F, E and Y are going to an island for 6 days over Easter Break, Two weeks before E and Y are going to K’s house for 7 days because they don’t have anywhere else to go for 7 days during spring break. But you all think she is too immature to join you all on the island. And you think the island is cooler. Wow. K needs to get rid of all of you and find better friends.
E and Y are using her and you don’t get why she is unhappy? If she is too immature to be with your group (all agree on this), then E and Y only want her for what they can get and nothing more. That is immature and user behavior. E and Y need to find another place to stay over Spring Break and leave her alone. They are total YTA.
(first time posting on AITA so not sure if I can reply) We like her as a person, we just think five people is too many for a trip of this nature and keep in mind that she ACTS YOUNG. She had a meltdown over getting a new ipad from her parents that was too large despite having a fully functioning ipad and she was friends with a girl who got expelled for drug problems and they related on having rich parents who let them do whatever they wanted.
Still, you don’t use people. If she is a friend, treat her like a friend. Keeping her around because two of you need a place to stay isn’t being a friend. You say you like her as a person but she is too immature, yeah that math doesn’t work. Why do you even hang around with anyone who acts young and immature? Sounds to me like you want the benefit of having someone with money around to use. Tolerate for her monetary assets.
i want to clarify that E and Y are close and friends with her but F and I aren’t. We didn’t deliberately exclude her, she wasn’t there when we made the plans. She had a lot of other friends and isn’t as close to us in general. Additionally, this trip requires overseas travel and F’s house is pretty small and as we’re young women we’re worried about the dangers of traveling with someone immature so far away.